Things I wish upon my Enemies

-socks that slide down off your feet while you are wearing shoes
-black ice on your pathway so you will slip and fall
-a piece of food stuck in your teeth on a date
-shoes just slightly too small and you can notice it when you walk around
-registering for a class that has one spot remaining and having your computer freeze
-slow internet service
-watching a show with the audio being just a second too slow and not matching up
-canker sores
-taking notes that you can't read later when studying for the test
-writing a paper and having to use up a whole other paper for the last sentence and you can't change anything
-a roommate who doesn't help to do anything
-someone blowdrying their hair in the apartment next to yours at 1;30 in the morning
-being stuck behind a slow driver (possibly when going to the hospital)
-wearing socks and stepping in a puddle
-having sweat marks when you meet your crush
-constantly being tailgated
-go through a drive-thru and having you order being wrong
-writing and having your pen smear all over your hand
-coughing and not being able to really cough what you need to get out of your throat, so you just cough suffocating
-getting shot 20 times with a paintball gun
-wearing a strapless bra that secretly just wants to really be a belt
-getting a piece of corn stuck in your teeth
-stubbing their toe (multiple times)
-getting pickpocketed right before lunch
-having long legs and being on a plane with seats too close together
-lag while playing an online game
-having their computer shut-down/turn off right at the most intense part of the show they were watching
-having their favorite pen die in the middle of a sentence
-forgetting a pencil on a test day (silence, no talking.)
-going into a class and realizing they have a test they didn't study for
-the lunchroom runs out of food right when they get to the front of the line
-having someone drop an ice cube down their back


-Alec Hardison