-socks that slide down off your feet while you are wearing shoes
-black ice on your pathway so you will slip and fall
-a piece of food stuck in your teeth on a date
-shoes just slightly too small and you can notice it when you walk around
-registering for a class that has one spot remaining and having your computer freeze
-slow internet service
-watching a show with the audio being just a second too slow and not matching up
-canker sores
-taking notes that you can't read later when studying for the test
-writing a paper and having to use up a whole other paper for the last sentence and you can't change anything
-a roommate who doesn't help to do anything
-someone blowdrying their hair in the apartment next to yours at 1;30 in the morning
-being stuck behind a slow driver (possibly when going to the hospital)
-wearing socks and stepping in a puddle
-having sweat marks when you meet your crush
-constantly being tailgated
-go through a drive-thru and having you order being wrong
-writing and having your pen smear all over your hand
-coughing and not being able to really cough what you need to get out of your throat, so you just cough suffocating
-getting shot 20 times with a paintball gun
-wearing a strapless bra that secretly just wants to really be a belt
-getting a piece of corn stuck in your teeth
-stubbing their toe (multiple times)
-getting pickpocketed right before lunch
-having long legs and being on a plane with seats too close together
-lag while playing an online game
-having their computer shut-down/turn off right at the most intense part of the show they were watching
-having their favorite pen die in the middle of a sentence
-forgetting a pencil on a test day (silence, no talking.)
-going into a class and realizing they have a test they didn't study for
-the lunchroom runs out of food right when they get to the front of the line
-having someone drop an ice cube down their back
-Alec Hardison
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
how college students are like kids
these are just a few examples of how college students are like kids...at least the ones that i've noticed..
-we get excited about stupid little things
- free food is always a motivator
- you can bribe us with the mention of food
-everyone can tell when you haven't slept
- we don't eat our fruits or veggies
- we like naps
- we don't want to go to school and nobody can make us
- we occasionally have melt downs and tantrums
- we only eat a few certain foods
- we choose the easiest path
- we don't care what we're wearing
- we love playing with our toys
- we get really excited about a free doughnut
- we are very grumpy and tired a lot of the time
- we want to stay up as late as possible but we also want sleep
- we love watching tv
- we don't want to do our homework
- we don't like making choices, we just want everything
- Mac and cheese is our favorite food
- we think the opposite sex has cooties
-Alec Hardison
-we get excited about stupid little things
- free food is always a motivator
- you can bribe us with the mention of food
-everyone can tell when you haven't slept
- we don't eat our fruits or veggies
- we like naps
- we don't want to go to school and nobody can make us
- we occasionally have melt downs and tantrums
- we only eat a few certain foods
- we choose the easiest path
- we don't care what we're wearing
- we love playing with our toys
- we get really excited about a free doughnut
- we are very grumpy and tired a lot of the time
- we want to stay up as late as possible but we also want sleep
- we love watching tv
- we don't want to do our homework
- we don't like making choices, we just want everything
- Mac and cheese is our favorite food
- we think the opposite sex has cooties
-Alec Hardison
Wednesday, September 24, 2014
the lone wolf
I need a friend.
A friend I can trust.
One similar to me, but not too much alike that I hate them.
I need somebody.
I'm so alone.
I want a friend that will just take a walk with me around campus, at 12:45 in the morning just because I need to talk.
I want to find a friend.
I never thought that going to the same college with someone who you thought was your best friend could be so lonely.
I know you live in the building next door, but you never seemed so far away. Maybe it's because I can't get into your building (because it's a prison) or maybe it's because you never want to do anything at all.
I need to do something.
I want to find a friend that will motivate me enough to just get out of my dorm room.
Someone that actually likes me.
A friend that will remind me that there are things out in the world and people to keep living for... because right now. I don't see anything. I'm blind and I'm empty. I'm dead on the inside and all i really want to be is dead.
I want to kill myself.
Someone that will actually notice when I'm lying to them. And they will notice when something is just not quite adding up. Someone that will keep me off this ledge. Because baby, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to kill myself. I'm afraid to die.
I want someone that will care.
I want a friend that will notice when I stop talking, someone that will help me.
Because right now, I could use all the help I could get.
-Alec Hardison
A friend I can trust.
One similar to me, but not too much alike that I hate them.
I need somebody.
I'm so alone.
I want a friend that will just take a walk with me around campus, at 12:45 in the morning just because I need to talk.
I want to find a friend.
I never thought that going to the same college with someone who you thought was your best friend could be so lonely.
I know you live in the building next door, but you never seemed so far away. Maybe it's because I can't get into your building (because it's a prison) or maybe it's because you never want to do anything at all.
I need to do something.
I want to find a friend that will motivate me enough to just get out of my dorm room.
Someone that actually likes me.
A friend that will remind me that there are things out in the world and people to keep living for... because right now. I don't see anything. I'm blind and I'm empty. I'm dead on the inside and all i really want to be is dead.
I want to kill myself.
Someone that will actually notice when I'm lying to them. And they will notice when something is just not quite adding up. Someone that will keep me off this ledge. Because baby, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to kill myself. I'm afraid to die.
I want someone that will care.
I want a friend that will notice when I stop talking, someone that will help me.
Because right now, I could use all the help I could get.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, September 14, 2014
Things I've learned about college so far/advice I would give someone going to college/random tidbits of information about my college experience
-people arrive 10 minutes early to class, go in and just sit there until class starts? what is this?
-it's like a freaking social norm, you don't walk on the grass, walk on the nice straight pathways. I think they are all secretly robots.
-being on your period while you have a roommate is super awkward. I mean, you're both girls and you both get it...but it's just awkward because...yeah..
-don't cook brussel sprouts it makes your apartment smell weird.
-going to college you pretty much pack up your whole freaking life and leave.
-always wear socks if you have a bowling class-always
-people that go to bed super early are banished (that's okay be that guy, get the most sleep, be the happiest)
-if you live in an all girl's apartment you should already be totally fine with your roommate just stripping down in front of you (prepare yourself, it's like gym, but worse because they are total strangers)
-when there are no adults around to make you eat your fruits and veggies...you won't, no matter how good of a goody-two-shoes you supposedly are.
-if you don't eat your fruits and veggies you'll get scurvy (the thing pirates usually get)
-german roommates are really strange
-always have a flashlight in case of power-outs
-don't panic (at the disco)
-take a shower pretty much EVERY day
-learn how to cook before going off to college-you'll starve without proper cooking skills
-if you don't know how to cook invest in a meal plan down at the cafeteria
-nobody eats on campus (like for instance walking from one class to another with a granola bar-shame on you) you either: don't eat, eat at your apartment or building, or eat at the school cafeteria.
-don't try the chicken tenders when the young inexperienced dude is the grill master
-learn about which grill dude does the best dishes (so then you know which things are safe to eat, on which days)
-don't stay up TOO late
-don't miss any of your classes (DANGER: WARNING: VERY DANGEROUS AND STUPID)
-be nice to people
-don't be shy
-buy lots and lots of toilet paper (trust me, you'll need it)
-do things early, don't wait for it to be the night before it's due to stay up and do it (also very stupid this isn't like high school you can't make up shit the night before and expect to get a good grade on it)
-if you're stressed, take a nap (it really helps, trust me: naps will be your very best friend)
-try and make your dorm room bed comfy (the best you can do is try, it will never actually happen though. It will always be un-comfy no-matter what you do.)
-don't try to multitask (that never works you idjit)
-before each class period review your notes to prepare yourself for that day in class
-if your roommate is a partier, don't wait up for them, just get to sleep (you'll thank me later)
-carry headphones around with you at all times (you'll never know when you need them)
-don't procrastinate your homework until 2 in the morning-nothing makes sense at 2 in the morning
-use the 20 minute study plan. 20 minutes of studying, 2-5 minutes of relaxing, pleasure. then get back to work.
-it's super awkward when you fall asleep in the middle of studying and your roommate walks in on you. Trust me, this has happened to me so many times, probably because I just want a nap and will take one at really any opportunity available, whether it be studying, eating, watching Netflix, thinking. FACT: If I am sitting down or laying down for more than 15 minutes without doing anything, I WILL FALL ASLEEP!!! And the sad thing is, I really enjoy sleeping and napping. But my friend thinks that I shouldn't take naps because it messes up my sleeping schedule or something like that. Well you know what Robin? SCREW YOU!! I LOVE NAPS, AND IF I WANT TO TAKE 3 IN ONE DAY, I WILL DO SO!!!
-i really don't know what that^ was, so please pardon my french.
And those are some of the things that I've learned about college so far, with only being here a month.
-Alec Hardison
-it's like a freaking social norm, you don't walk on the grass, walk on the nice straight pathways. I think they are all secretly robots.
-being on your period while you have a roommate is super awkward. I mean, you're both girls and you both get it...but it's just awkward because...yeah..
-don't cook brussel sprouts it makes your apartment smell weird.
-going to college you pretty much pack up your whole freaking life and leave.
-always wear socks if you have a bowling class-always
-freshmen 15 is actually a thing
-people expect you to go to bed really late and if you don't you're like the leper of the colony-people that go to bed super early are banished (that's okay be that guy, get the most sleep, be the happiest)
-if you live in an all girl's apartment you should already be totally fine with your roommate just stripping down in front of you (prepare yourself, it's like gym, but worse because they are total strangers)
-when there are no adults around to make you eat your fruits and veggies...you won't, no matter how good of a goody-two-shoes you supposedly are.
-if you don't eat your fruits and veggies you'll get scurvy (the thing pirates usually get)
-german roommates are really strange
-always have a flashlight in case of power-outs
-don't panic (at the disco)
-take a shower pretty much EVERY day
-learn how to cook before going off to college-you'll starve without proper cooking skills
-if you don't know how to cook invest in a meal plan down at the cafeteria
-nobody eats on campus (like for instance walking from one class to another with a granola bar-shame on you) you either: don't eat, eat at your apartment or building, or eat at the school cafeteria.
-don't try the chicken tenders when the young inexperienced dude is the grill master
-learn about which grill dude does the best dishes (so then you know which things are safe to eat, on which days)
-don't stay up TOO late
-don't miss any of your classes (DANGER: WARNING: VERY DANGEROUS AND STUPID)
-be nice to people
-don't be shy
-buy lots and lots of toilet paper (trust me, you'll need it)
-do things early, don't wait for it to be the night before it's due to stay up and do it (also very stupid this isn't like high school you can't make up shit the night before and expect to get a good grade on it)
-if you're stressed, take a nap (it really helps, trust me: naps will be your very best friend)
-try and make your dorm room bed comfy (the best you can do is try, it will never actually happen though. It will always be un-comfy no-matter what you do.)
-don't try to multitask (that never works you idjit)
-before each class period review your notes to prepare yourself for that day in class
-if your roommate is a partier, don't wait up for them, just get to sleep (you'll thank me later)
-carry headphones around with you at all times (you'll never know when you need them)
-don't procrastinate your homework until 2 in the morning-nothing makes sense at 2 in the morning
-use the 20 minute study plan. 20 minutes of studying, 2-5 minutes of relaxing, pleasure. then get back to work.
-it's super awkward when you fall asleep in the middle of studying and your roommate walks in on you. Trust me, this has happened to me so many times, probably because I just want a nap and will take one at really any opportunity available, whether it be studying, eating, watching Netflix, thinking. FACT: If I am sitting down or laying down for more than 15 minutes without doing anything, I WILL FALL ASLEEP!!! And the sad thing is, I really enjoy sleeping and napping. But my friend thinks that I shouldn't take naps because it messes up my sleeping schedule or something like that. Well you know what Robin? SCREW YOU!! I LOVE NAPS, AND IF I WANT TO TAKE 3 IN ONE DAY, I WILL DO SO!!!
-i really don't know what that^ was, so please pardon my french.
And those are some of the things that I've learned about college so far, with only being here a month.
-Alec Hardison
Saturday, August 23, 2014
I hate trying to come up with creative titles, screw it.
I would much rather stay inside my room with the lights off in utter self-loathing than do anything else.
Some of the reasons I hate myself: or in other words: insecurities:
-how I have two cow licks in my hair, one in the front and one in the back
-how tall I am
-my pinkies
-how my face turns red after doing nothing (yesterday I walked DOWN 1 set of stairs and it set it off)
-the freckle in the middle, between my eyes
-and how if I get angry and my skin scrunches up that little freckle mentioned above, has it's own little bubble of skin
-how white I am
-the pathetic-ness of how I can't stay outside for more than 30 minutes in direct sunlight before turning into a lobster
-my voice (it's so high and squeaky)
-my invisible eyebrows
-the stupid pimple on my face
-my weight
-my attitude
-how I have a sock and watch tan line
-oh yeah, my farmers tan
-the bump in the middle of my nose
-my inability to stretch
-the infinite amount of freckles
-how my nose is always a darker shade of red than the rest of my face
-other stuff I can't think of right now...
-Alec Hardison
Some of the reasons I hate myself: or in other words: insecurities:
-how I have two cow licks in my hair, one in the front and one in the back
-how tall I am
-my pinkies
-how my face turns red after doing nothing (yesterday I walked DOWN 1 set of stairs and it set it off)
-the freckle in the middle, between my eyes
-and how if I get angry and my skin scrunches up that little freckle mentioned above, has it's own little bubble of skin
-how white I am
-the pathetic-ness of how I can't stay outside for more than 30 minutes in direct sunlight before turning into a lobster
-my voice (it's so high and squeaky)
-my invisible eyebrows
-the stupid pimple on my face
-my weight
-my attitude
-how I have a sock and watch tan line
-oh yeah, my farmers tan
-the bump in the middle of my nose
-my inability to stretch
-the infinite amount of freckles
-how my nose is always a darker shade of red than the rest of my face
-other stuff I can't think of right now...
-Alec Hardison
Friday, August 15, 2014
stress levels and thoughts
I wanna talk about how you can never find the soul mate to your socks And how you are able to be a 20 on a scale of 1-10. and how right about now I'm at least a 28.6 How I'm going to have to live with someone I don't even know for at least 3 months. I wanna talk about the playlist I made but it's only mine and how I labeled it that. I wanna write about how I'm secretly relieved about not having to talk to one of my friends ever again. How I have almost as strong connections with people I formerly used to work with them l than my best friends. How you can hate a job but love working with some of the people
How you can be so stressed about not packing yet and still lounge around the house procrastinating. How I have 30 shirts that I haven't ever worn and don't fit me anymore. I'm sick of crying, crying gives me a headache and heartache too. About how my room looks like a bomb just exploded And my head looks about the same I want to talk about the way my pinkies look and how the 7th step on the way up the stairs squeaks but not on the way down I want to talk about how friends are the best things in the world, and about how silence is slowly killing us all. I want to talk about how I really haven't said goodbye to really anybody and how I leave in less than a day. And how I'm stressed a lot about that. The difference between then and than. Ponder upon the reason that printer ink is the most expensive liquid on earth based on price per ounce. Why suicide bombers should be getting life insurance and discuss the emotional attachments we all have to certain toys or stuffed animals from our childhoods and how sometimes spelling is the hardest thing in writing. How because of spelling words we would rather reconfigure the whole sentence that it used to be in. How drug dealers still live in their mother's basement. Why girls have it harder and the expectations that people attach for no reason at all. How I'm just sitting here writing instead of finishing packing I don't know. I just want to write and talk.
I'm not really sure where I was going with this....
-Alec Hardison
How you can be so stressed about not packing yet and still lounge around the house procrastinating. How I have 30 shirts that I haven't ever worn and don't fit me anymore. I'm sick of crying, crying gives me a headache and heartache too. About how my room looks like a bomb just exploded And my head looks about the same I want to talk about the way my pinkies look and how the 7th step on the way up the stairs squeaks but not on the way down I want to talk about how friends are the best things in the world, and about how silence is slowly killing us all. I want to talk about how I really haven't said goodbye to really anybody and how I leave in less than a day. And how I'm stressed a lot about that. The difference between then and than. Ponder upon the reason that printer ink is the most expensive liquid on earth based on price per ounce. Why suicide bombers should be getting life insurance and discuss the emotional attachments we all have to certain toys or stuffed animals from our childhoods and how sometimes spelling is the hardest thing in writing. How because of spelling words we would rather reconfigure the whole sentence that it used to be in. How drug dealers still live in their mother's basement. Why girls have it harder and the expectations that people attach for no reason at all. How I'm just sitting here writing instead of finishing packing I don't know. I just want to write and talk.
I'm not really sure where I was going with this....
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, August 10, 2014
A: you know who you are.
Dear A,
Thank you so much for tonight/today I'm glad that you realized and acknowledged the cues and signals I was giving off. Thank you for staying and waiting for me to get off before leaving. I'm pretty sure that carmel shake thing you made me stopped my heart at least once, but that's okay. Thank you for walking with me and just talking with me. Thanks for being honest with me. Try not to get Jason fired. I can't wait for you to tell me about the looks on everybody's faces when they read the letters. It's going to be awesome. Thank you for caring enough about me to stay and just talk with me. Thank you. I'm sorry i started crying. Thank you for the hug when I started crying, and for all the rest. I really needed those. Thank you for saying 'we really should be getting home' three times but not leaving until the last possible moment. Thank you for just letting me talk. I'm really going to miss you. And I hope that you actually do make that list, then I will have exactly one thing hanging up in my dorm room.
Thanks for tonight/this morning.
Pretty much,
Thank you.
It meant a lot to me.
-Alec Hardison
Thank you so much for tonight/today I'm glad that you realized and acknowledged the cues and signals I was giving off. Thank you for staying and waiting for me to get off before leaving. I'm pretty sure that carmel shake thing you made me stopped my heart at least once, but that's okay. Thank you for walking with me and just talking with me. Thanks for being honest with me. Try not to get Jason fired. I can't wait for you to tell me about the looks on everybody's faces when they read the letters. It's going to be awesome. Thank you for caring enough about me to stay and just talk with me. Thank you. I'm sorry i started crying. Thank you for the hug when I started crying, and for all the rest. I really needed those. Thank you for saying 'we really should be getting home' three times but not leaving until the last possible moment. Thank you for just letting me talk. I'm really going to miss you. And I hope that you actually do make that list, then I will have exactly one thing hanging up in my dorm room.
Thanks for tonight/this morning.
Pretty much,
Thank you.
It meant a lot to me.
-Alec Hardison
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
stop! (hammertime)
It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on tv about communication and expressing your feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.
I don't want to talk about it.
It doesn't matter. Stop asking about it.
You are standing too close.
I'm naturally uncomfortable.
Stop. It doesn't matter.
Leave me alone.
Ask somebody else for an opinion.
Go away.
Why are you following me?
Aren't you supposed to be going home now?
Just leave me alone.
Stop asking about it.
I don't want to talk about it.
It doesn't matter. Stop asking about it.
You are standing too close.
I'm naturally uncomfortable.
Stop. It doesn't matter.
Leave me alone.
Ask somebody else for an opinion.
Go away.
Why are you following me?
Aren't you supposed to be going home now?
Just leave me alone.
Stop asking about it.
Monday, July 21, 2014
Legitimate (truths)
Just a few truths
-I get really annoying with idiots who misuse the word 'literally'
-I dare you to try and string together a sentence without the word 'like' in it Charlie
-I only have 3 colors during the summer: lobster red, pink eye, and the sun on bright angel snow white.
-I stay up too late all the time because my mind likes to wander and worry and stress
-I'd rather stay at home than be social anyday
-No matter how hot it is, I always sleep with at least one blanket
-I drink Sprite when I'm stressed
-dino-nuggets taste better than regular nuggets
-I get sunburnt WAY too easily
-I can't have one conversation with anyone without asking questions or adding sarcastic remarks
-I'm way more annoying and loud at home than anywhere else
-I think I look cool when I wear sunglasses, but I probably look really stupid
-I'm trying to eat healthy but I'm a sucker for snow cones, so that's not exactly working out....
.. ... . .. ..... ..
...
-Alec Hardison (ME)
-I get really annoying with idiots who misuse the word 'literally'
-I dare you to try and string together a sentence without the word 'like' in it Charlie
-I only have 3 colors during the summer: lobster red, pink eye, and the sun on bright angel snow white.
-I stay up too late all the time because my mind likes to wander and worry and stress
-I'd rather stay at home than be social anyday
-No matter how hot it is, I always sleep with at least one blanket
-I drink Sprite when I'm stressed
-dino-nuggets taste better than regular nuggets
-I get sunburnt WAY too easily
-I can't have one conversation with anyone without asking questions or adding sarcastic remarks
-I'm way more annoying and loud at home than anywhere else
-I think I look cool when I wear sunglasses, but I probably look really stupid
-I'm trying to eat healthy but I'm a sucker for snow cones, so that's not exactly working out....
.. ... . .. ..... ..
...
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Wednesday, July 9, 2014
these are not the droids you are looking for....
Dear you,
I hate you.
That is all.
Move along.
Nothing to see here.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
I hate you.
That is all.
Move along.
Nothing to see here.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Monday, July 7, 2014
A recipe for disaster
A simple yet complex recipe to make a disaster that has been voted best dilemma for 4 years in a row!
Ingredients:
-Adults (that were teenagers just a few months ago)
-School for 12 years straight
-A handful of peer pressure
-rules and regulations (enforced)
-tests (ap tests)
-Expectations
-Stress
-18 year old angst
-Parents
-Wifi
-Friends
-Work
-Lack of sleep
-Paranoia
-Uncertainty
-Stressful situations
-Sprinkle the word "COLLEGE" here and there
-Childhoods that have been murdered
-Graduate
-Make them choose what they want to do with their lives (extremely soon)
-Extreme freedom that they have never had before
-nervous breakdowns/anxiety attacks
-Unstable friend situations
-Enemies (rivals)
Instructions:
Preheat conventional oven to 350° F.
Mix all ingredients together in a big wooden bowl (spactula is recommended for better mixing).
Pour mixture from bowl into a glass 9x13 inch glass pan.
Cover with tin foil.
Bake in oven for 45-65 minutes.
Remove tin foil from top of pan.
Then bake for another 10 minutes to melt the top of disaster to perfection.
Add sprinkles (multi-colored is preferred).
Congratulations you have now made a huge un-desirable disaster.
Good job.
Ingredients:
-Adults (that were teenagers just a few months ago)
-School for 12 years straight
-A handful of peer pressure
-rules and regulations (enforced)
-tests (ap tests)
-Expectations
-Stress
-18 year old angst
-Parents
-Wifi
-Friends
-Work
-Lack of sleep
-Paranoia
-Uncertainty
-Stressful situations
-Sprinkle the word "COLLEGE" here and there
-Childhoods that have been murdered
-Graduate
-Make them choose what they want to do with their lives (extremely soon)
-Extreme freedom that they have never had before
-nervous breakdowns/anxiety attacks
-Unstable friend situations
-Enemies (rivals)
Instructions:
Preheat conventional oven to 350° F.
Mix all ingredients together in a big wooden bowl (spactula is recommended for better mixing).
Pour mixture from bowl into a glass 9x13 inch glass pan.
Cover with tin foil.
Bake in oven for 45-65 minutes.
Remove tin foil from top of pan.
Then bake for another 10 minutes to melt the top of disaster to perfection.
Add sprinkles (multi-colored is preferred).
Congratulations you have now made a huge un-desirable disaster.
Good job.
Thursday, July 3, 2014
A penny for your thoughts. I'm sorry but mine are worth $1.50.
Why so much for your thoughts you ask?
Because of these reasons:
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Because of these reasons:
- I'm broke
- I need money
- My thoughts are original
- I'm sick of giving my advice or sarcastic comments away for free
- I'm sick of talking
I'm sick of talking.
I'm sick of people always asking me how I am.
I've learned from experience it's better to just shut up and listen then to talk.
I seem to get into way more trouble and problems than I ever would've been in if I just shut up and stopped talking.
I love how I've just started to continually get quieter and people automatically assume that I'm just mute.
Which is fine with me.
I'm sick of asking questions because all it ever gets me is problems.
I'm sick of answering questions because nobody cares and nobody needs to know.
You know all those get to know you questions like: would you rather this out that?
I've decided I'd rather be mute than deaf.
All I ever do at work is talk and talk and talk and my throat is raw. It seems like lately everybody just seems to ignore that I exist. Which is fine by me. Because it's really easy to forget that there is an elephant in the room if it stops making noises.
I'm done with talking. All it ever does is give me more problems than I need.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Saturday, June 28, 2014
so how are you today Alec?
How are you today?
Good.
What about you?
Fine.
I'm not fine.
My best friend is in the ICU and I can't stop thinking about her.
I can't stop thinking about what would happen if she dies.
I wouldn't be myself. I wouldn't be able to cope or deal with this anymore.
Because I've been the one standing at the edge of the cliff looking down. Sometimes yearning to jump.
And she....
She's always been the person holding me back.
She's my safety rope tied around my waist just incase I start to slip.
I need her.
Please don't die and leave me here.
I know we've always joked about if one of us does die the other person was required to bring cubed funeral potatoes to the funeral. But you can't die now. I don't know how to make those yet. And if I don't live up to my word. ... I'll never forgive myself.
Buddy..
I need you.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Good.
What about you?
Fine.
I'm not fine.
My best friend is in the ICU and I can't stop thinking about her.
I can't stop thinking about what would happen if she dies.
I wouldn't be myself. I wouldn't be able to cope or deal with this anymore.
Because I've been the one standing at the edge of the cliff looking down. Sometimes yearning to jump.
And she....
She's always been the person holding me back.
She's my safety rope tied around my waist just incase I start to slip.
I need her.
Please don't die and leave me here.
I know we've always joked about if one of us does die the other person was required to bring cubed funeral potatoes to the funeral. But you can't die now. I don't know how to make those yet. And if I don't live up to my word. ... I'll never forgive myself.
Buddy..
I need you.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
I'm not worth it
I just want to scream to the world and everyone that tries to get to know me "I'M NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON AND ALL I EVER DO IS HURT PEOPLE!! "I'm not worth your time. Don't ask about me.... I'm not worth it. ... just tell me about you...
Let's not waste our breath talking about me.... let's talk about you... because I'm not worth it...
you really shouldn't want to get to know me.
I'm a nobody...
I prefer to be invisible (than be in the spotlight)
I'm not the main character in anybody's personal movies.
I'm just an extra in the background.
I don't play a big role, I don't even have any lines to say.
I'm just here to be another splotch of color in the background most likely in a green or blue shirt to try and make it interesting.
I'm not even a side character (supporting character is what my sister thinks the correct term is).
I'm trying too hard to be the comic relief, in your story.
Yep, I'm that cheesy character that is only really around for a couple seasons until they eventually get killed off.
And that is when you realize that they weren't even a big contribution to the whole show.
I'm not a good person. Don't get confused. I'm not a good person and you really Don't want to get to know me.
Don't waste your time trying to get to know me, because I'm not worth it.
It doesn't matter where I'm going to college or what my favorite dessert is, or anything like that because it really doesn't matter....I don't matter. Please stop asking me questions.
Stop trying to get to know me.
All I ever do is hurt people. It's better to just stay away from me.
I'm not worth wasting your time on.
"I'M NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON AND ALL I EVER DO IS HURT PEOPLE!!"
Just move on....
I'm not worth your time or your breath ... let's talk about you...
.. because I'm not worth it....
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Let's not waste our breath talking about me.... let's talk about you... because I'm not worth it...
you really shouldn't want to get to know me.
I'm a nobody...
I prefer to be invisible (than be in the spotlight)
I'm not the main character in anybody's personal movies.
I'm just an extra in the background.
I don't play a big role, I don't even have any lines to say.
I'm just here to be another splotch of color in the background most likely in a green or blue shirt to try and make it interesting.
I'm not even a side character (supporting character is what my sister thinks the correct term is).
I'm trying too hard to be the comic relief, in your story.
Yep, I'm that cheesy character that is only really around for a couple seasons until they eventually get killed off.
And that is when you realize that they weren't even a big contribution to the whole show.
I'm not a good person. Don't get confused. I'm not a good person and you really Don't want to get to know me.
Don't waste your time trying to get to know me, because I'm not worth it.
It doesn't matter where I'm going to college or what my favorite dessert is, or anything like that because it really doesn't matter....I don't matter. Please stop asking me questions.
Stop trying to get to know me.
All I ever do is hurt people. It's better to just stay away from me.
I'm not worth wasting your time on.
"I'M NOT WORTH YOUR TIME, I'M NOT A GOOD PERSON AND ALL I EVER DO IS HURT PEOPLE!!"
Just move on....
I'm not worth your time or your breath ... let's talk about you...
.. because I'm not worth it....
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Monday, June 16, 2014
letters to people I work with
The sad thing is....during the summer I will have spend more time with my work friends than my actual friends and family. So because of this amazing realization I decided to write some of them letters. (that they will probably never read)
Dear Jason,
I think you are one of the best managers that this store has had so far. I think you will be able to accomplish great things because you've only been with this store for a month now and you really have been making it better.
Dear all the new people that have been recently hired,
hi. My name is Megan and that is all you need to know about me. This is how it works with me, I ask the questions you answer them, stay out of my way, and actually work and we'll be able to get along (or just barely stand each other just fine).
Dear Allie,
I'm sorry I'm too sarcastic and rude most of the time. I'm glad that I work with you a lot...because I'm pretty sure (especially this last week) I wouldn't still be sane trying to work with all the new people. I really enjoy doing the whole thing with you about coming up with a different word every day I work with you to describe how you are that day. I look forward to it every time I work with you. (yes, that is one of the lamest things I could ever admit to looking forward to, a word of the day, but whatever, sue me.) Thanks for being so amusing and smart.
Dear Chandler,
Man, you really freak me out. You are so strange and annoying. No, I'm not going to say please. Just freaking get out of my way. If you won't do it that's fine I'll do it myself.
Dear Bailey,
I know most of the time you are just joking and messing around but some of the rude remarks you make really put me down. It's really annoying that you and Kayla are in a relationship (why do you have to try and make everything you do a freaking soap opera). Yes, you do have a girl's name. I really don't see why you trust me with telling me your whole life story, but whatever. I'm kind of hoping you get fired. I would say it's nothing personal but we would both know that would be a lie. (I'm so glad you were fired.)
Dear Kayla,
First off, no, your evil masterminded plan will never work, you can't make me tell you where I'm going to college. It's a secret (from you and everyone else). I would really appreciate it if you got your head out of the love life clouds at least while you are at work. You used to be the fastest sandwich maker we had (after yessi, of course). But now I don't know what happened to you. You can barely function and do your job. And just to tell you, great job on getting a 27 on the ACT. anyways, good luck with the rest of your life.
Dear Rachel,
I'm sorry you feel like you have to worry about me all the time. I'm sorry I make your life so difficult. I'm sorry. But you really don't know how much of a difference you make in my life. All the time. I love working with you.
Dear Jessica,
I really do like you and I don't hate you. You are so fun and amusing to work with and you always seem to be able to cheer me up even when I don't want to be cheered up. You are so amazing, and happy all the time. I'm sorry I make you stop singing, when really it's very good. I'm sorry you always see me in the worst of moods because I'm at work. I'm sorry about that.
Dear Aspen,
Shut up.
Dear Chelsea,
I'm glad you came back from Arizona. You are one of the few people that actually work while they are at work (which seems to be such a strange concept for some people to comprehend). And you are very good at it too. I like how you never stop talking, yes, sometimes it's really annoying but I really do like to hear about your life and everything that you do. And yes the way you describe your next tattoo does make it sound lame.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Dear Jason,
I think you are one of the best managers that this store has had so far. I think you will be able to accomplish great things because you've only been with this store for a month now and you really have been making it better.
Dear all the new people that have been recently hired,
hi. My name is Megan and that is all you need to know about me. This is how it works with me, I ask the questions you answer them, stay out of my way, and actually work and we'll be able to get along (or just barely stand each other just fine).
Dear Allie,
I'm sorry I'm too sarcastic and rude most of the time. I'm glad that I work with you a lot...because I'm pretty sure (especially this last week) I wouldn't still be sane trying to work with all the new people. I really enjoy doing the whole thing with you about coming up with a different word every day I work with you to describe how you are that day. I look forward to it every time I work with you. (yes, that is one of the lamest things I could ever admit to looking forward to, a word of the day, but whatever, sue me.) Thanks for being so amusing and smart.
Dear Chandler,
Man, you really freak me out. You are so strange and annoying. No, I'm not going to say please. Just freaking get out of my way. If you won't do it that's fine I'll do it myself.
Dear Bailey,
I know most of the time you are just joking and messing around but some of the rude remarks you make really put me down. It's really annoying that you and Kayla are in a relationship (why do you have to try and make everything you do a freaking soap opera). Yes, you do have a girl's name. I really don't see why you trust me with telling me your whole life story, but whatever. I'm kind of hoping you get fired. I would say it's nothing personal but we would both know that would be a lie. (I'm so glad you were fired.)
Dear Kayla,
First off, no, your evil masterminded plan will never work, you can't make me tell you where I'm going to college. It's a secret (from you and everyone else). I would really appreciate it if you got your head out of the love life clouds at least while you are at work. You used to be the fastest sandwich maker we had (after yessi, of course). But now I don't know what happened to you. You can barely function and do your job. And just to tell you, great job on getting a 27 on the ACT. anyways, good luck with the rest of your life.
Dear Rachel,
I'm sorry you feel like you have to worry about me all the time. I'm sorry I make your life so difficult. I'm sorry. But you really don't know how much of a difference you make in my life. All the time. I love working with you.
Dear Jessica,
I really do like you and I don't hate you. You are so fun and amusing to work with and you always seem to be able to cheer me up even when I don't want to be cheered up. You are so amazing, and happy all the time. I'm sorry I make you stop singing, when really it's very good. I'm sorry you always see me in the worst of moods because I'm at work. I'm sorry about that.
Dear Aspen,
Shut up.
Dear Chelsea,
I'm glad you came back from Arizona. You are one of the few people that actually work while they are at work (which seems to be such a strange concept for some people to comprehend). And you are very good at it too. I like how you never stop talking, yes, sometimes it's really annoying but I really do like to hear about your life and everything that you do. And yes the way you describe your next tattoo does make it sound lame.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Friday, June 6, 2014
A letter to the dead
Buddy, Why did you have to go and leave me here.
Alone.
I know it wasn't your choice but I'm still slightly offended.
I've always heard that the good die young and I was too young for you to die.
I'm never going to have a better friend than you ever were.
I always thought that I'd just go to college and you'd come with me, but I guess that won't be able to happen.
You were always happy, no matter what I did or didn't do.
And now you are 6 feet under the ground and I can't even seem to find the sun.
You always loved to just sit in the sun and laze around, and now most of the time I stay inside to try and stop thinking about you.
Everybody says they understand, but nobody does. You were my best friend since age 2 when I hurt you and you didn't even care. (I mean, I'm sure you did, but you didn't retaliate or show it in any way.)
You were my go-to friend when I was having a rough day, I would pick you up and we would just sit together and listen to some music or talk. But I did most of the talking. You were more of a quiet, listening type. Which is what I needed and still need.
You never complained about how I sleep too much or listen to my music too loud, because you understood.
You have always been the one there to comfort me.
You always knew what to do, in every situation that you were in.
I guess that's why my family and I joked around that you were 'the old man'.
I don't want a new friend, I want you.
It was just slightly ironic (at least I find it ironic) that you died the day before Memorial Day.
I keep expecting to see you around whenever I need you, but you aren't.
It's been almost two weeks since you died and I can't seem to get my mind off of you and how I wish you were still here.
So I guess you could call this a letter to you (the dead).
I want you back. I'm willing to bargain with what I have.
please.... . . .. .
Alone.
I know it wasn't your choice but I'm still slightly offended.
I've always heard that the good die young and I was too young for you to die.
I'm never going to have a better friend than you ever were.
I always thought that I'd just go to college and you'd come with me, but I guess that won't be able to happen.
You were always happy, no matter what I did or didn't do.
And now you are 6 feet under the ground and I can't even seem to find the sun.
You always loved to just sit in the sun and laze around, and now most of the time I stay inside to try and stop thinking about you.
Everybody says they understand, but nobody does. You were my best friend since age 2 when I hurt you and you didn't even care. (I mean, I'm sure you did, but you didn't retaliate or show it in any way.)
You were my go-to friend when I was having a rough day, I would pick you up and we would just sit together and listen to some music or talk. But I did most of the talking. You were more of a quiet, listening type. Which is what I needed and still need.
You never complained about how I sleep too much or listen to my music too loud, because you understood.
You have always been the one there to comfort me.
You always knew what to do, in every situation that you were in.
I guess that's why my family and I joked around that you were 'the old man'.
I don't want a new friend, I want you.
It was just slightly ironic (at least I find it ironic) that you died the day before Memorial Day.
I keep expecting to see you around whenever I need you, but you aren't.
It's been almost two weeks since you died and I can't seem to get my mind off of you and how I wish you were still here.
So I guess you could call this a letter to you (the dead).
I want you back. I'm willing to bargain with what I have.
please.... . . .. .
Thursday, May 29, 2014
untitled/this doesn't make any sense
This is the piece that I wrote and performed for the open mic final...I'm pretty sure if you didn't hear it this won't make any sense...and it's slightly different than what I actually said because I get really excited and say random stuff when I am up in front of people...yep...
Okay let's start this with a joke because everybody likes jokes... at least I do...
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
That would be me....
Here's another one.
If everything is coming your way fast.
You're in the wrong lane.
This doesn't make any sense at all.
Rambling is my favorite language.
I hate public speaking.
I bite and pick at my lips and nails when I'm nervous.
And I'm not going to lie. You guys make me nervous. So freaking nervous.
I know this doesn't matter at all, but to me, it does.
I'm naturally an awkward person. ..
.... so. ..I hope this isn't really bad...
Randomness:
I've only seen frozen once and I knew that may may surprise a lot of you, but according to me, it wasn't all the rage that everybody has been freaking out about, it was okay.
Did you know that my hair takes 6 minutes to blow dry.
Probably because there it's nothing there...
My mom thinks I'm anemic.
No mom, I'm just white and pale!
You just don't understand.
I'm sick of saying fine when people ask me how I am.
I stayed up way too late writing this and it doesn't make any sense so just ignore my ramblings, because that's all this is. It's not poetry and it's definitely not poetic.
Chocolate is the answer who cares what the question is.
I'm terrified. I don't want to move on.
You know that saying "take life with a grain of salt" no!! I do what the freak I want I'd prefer to take life with a bowl of ice cream. Fact: you see better when you are scared. By the end of this rambling I'm probably going to be able to start seeing through things.
I'm not good at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
They took my coloring book away and replaced it with a scantron.
What I really want to know is what I would say or spill my secrets when getting my wisdom teeth out.
Too bad I don't have any.
Curses.
AHHHHH (loud scream)
I like screaming.
My sneeze is too loud for normal human interactions.
Here let me demonstrate. ..... wait. ... nope.... not going to happen.
I hate it when people stop talking in the middle of their........
...
thank you.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Okay let's start this with a joke because everybody likes jokes... at least I do...
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
That would be me....
Here's another one.
If everything is coming your way fast.
You're in the wrong lane.
This doesn't make any sense at all.
Rambling is my favorite language.
I hate public speaking.
I bite and pick at my lips and nails when I'm nervous.
And I'm not going to lie. You guys make me nervous. So freaking nervous.
I know this doesn't matter at all, but to me, it does.
I'm naturally an awkward person. ..
.... so. ..I hope this isn't really bad...
Randomness:
I've only seen frozen once and I knew that may may surprise a lot of you, but according to me, it wasn't all the rage that everybody has been freaking out about, it was okay.
Did you know that my hair takes 6 minutes to blow dry.
Probably because there it's nothing there...
My mom thinks I'm anemic.
No mom, I'm just white and pale!
You just don't understand.
I'm sick of saying fine when people ask me how I am.
I stayed up way too late writing this and it doesn't make any sense so just ignore my ramblings, because that's all this is. It's not poetry and it's definitely not poetic.
Chocolate is the answer who cares what the question is.
I'm terrified. I don't want to move on.
You know that saying "take life with a grain of salt" no!! I do what the freak I want I'd prefer to take life with a bowl of ice cream. Fact: you see better when you are scared. By the end of this rambling I'm probably going to be able to start seeing through things.
I'm not good at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
They took my coloring book away and replaced it with a scantron.
What I really want to know is what I would say or spill my secrets when getting my wisdom teeth out.
Too bad I don't have any.
Curses.
AHHHHH (loud scream)
I like screaming.
My sneeze is too loud for normal human interactions.
Here let me demonstrate. ..... wait. ... nope.... not going to happen.
I hate it when people stop talking in the middle of their........
...
thank you.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Friday, May 23, 2014
if you really knew me...real talk...
Hi my name is Megan Erickson. (the senior)
I strongly dislike the Junior Megan Erickson that stole my name, I mean, it was my name first!!
I really don't enjoy how my friend calls me 'Meggie'.
I wish I had a different name.
I hate getting called down to the office to find out that it's for the other Megan Erickson.
I hate how in the yearbook under my name (Megan Erickson) is her name, and next to my name is numbers which are pages with pictures of her. (I mean really yearbook editors, does it really take that much effort to figure out who these people are and actually get the right names?)
You'd know that I've had classes with most of you people, and yes I do remember your faces.
I'm extremely bad at swallowing pills, just the thought of those gives me anxiety (which is really bad when I'm sick like now....so..yeah..)
You'd know that I hate to watch or listen to my voice on film or movies. (it's really ironic considering I took TV video productions)
you'd know that I once went a whole month by the name of Magellan.
you'd know that if I could've figured out a way to kill myself that abides to all my conditions I would've been dead as soon as I got the chance (last October).
I am 5 foot 9 or 10 but I'm still invisible to everyone at this school.
The only thing I wanted to be was taller than my mom, now that I am, I don't know what I want to be anymore.
You'd know that I hate seeing pictures of myself.
My zodiac sign is Aires as if that is supposed to predict my personality in some way.
I have been alive 6,625 days and 225 full moons. (up to date posted).
You'd know how I hate myself for everything that I have done (because I haven't made a difference or helped anyone)
I'm the year of the rat and my element is fire.
you'd know that this class has changed me.
You'd know that I make baby T-Rex noises when I'm stretching (yep, I'm a strange goose alright..)
The song that was popular the day I was born is: because you loved me by Celine Dion.
You'd know that I hate everything that I make. It always looks really bad, I don't see what you people see at all.
I'm not creative at all. I just steal from everybody.
you'd know that I haven't told anyone about my deepest regret (not even my best friend).
You'd know that secrets are crushing me.
I'm really nervous and terrified about graduating and also really relieved.
I'm don't even have a clue about what I'm going to write or speak for the open mic final.
I hate my handwriting. (it's not creative or original it looks like a 2nd grader's)
You'd know that I'm too much of a coward to actually open up my mouth and speak the truth.
I went out into my backyard today and just yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs. (I'm so glad that our neighbors don't judge us...)
You'd know that I'm sick and tired of one of my really close friends.
My favorite food is Lasagna and Funeral Potatoes (but not together of course).
you'd know that my hair is straight almost white blonde and ridiculously thin.
And that I hate how the front and the back hairs just like to stand straight up.
I've never died my hair.
If you really knew me, you'd know too much.
You'd know who I really am, and not who I pretend to be.
You'd know that I used to play sports and I enjoyed almost every minute of it. (except for some people, but I'll spare you the details.)
You'd know that I've never broken a bone or sprained anything.
You'd know that I'm slightly OCD but only with certain things.
You'd know that I hate talking about myself and you'd know the reason too.
You'd know about how I lie about hating everything and everyone.
You'd know how fascinated I am with everyone and how original and amazing everyone is.
You'd know that I like the way bruises and cuts look on my skin.
You'd know that I'm not worth your time.
You'd know that I hate my job, but I love the people that I work with.
You'd know that everyone at work talks bad about some customers (mostly the rude ones)
You'd know where I'm going to college (and how ashamed and disappointed I am at myself)
You'd know that everybody can hear you when you come through the drive-thru and think you are so cool and laughing with your friends when really everybody just thinks you are obnoxious and most of the time people generally don't like you.
this is getting too long....time to end it...
I'm just going to call this enough formal introductions for now.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
I strongly dislike the Junior Megan Erickson that stole my name, I mean, it was my name first!!
I really don't enjoy how my friend calls me 'Meggie'.
I wish I had a different name.
I hate getting called down to the office to find out that it's for the other Megan Erickson.
I hate how in the yearbook under my name (Megan Erickson) is her name, and next to my name is numbers which are pages with pictures of her. (I mean really yearbook editors, does it really take that much effort to figure out who these people are and actually get the right names?)
You'd know that I've had classes with most of you people, and yes I do remember your faces.
I'm extremely bad at swallowing pills, just the thought of those gives me anxiety (which is really bad when I'm sick like now....so..yeah..)
You'd know that I hate to watch or listen to my voice on film or movies. (it's really ironic considering I took TV video productions)
you'd know that I once went a whole month by the name of Magellan.
you'd know that if I could've figured out a way to kill myself that abides to all my conditions I would've been dead as soon as I got the chance (last October).
I am 5 foot 9 or 10 but I'm still invisible to everyone at this school.
The only thing I wanted to be was taller than my mom, now that I am, I don't know what I want to be anymore.
You'd know that I hate seeing pictures of myself.
My zodiac sign is Aires as if that is supposed to predict my personality in some way.
I have been alive 6,625 days and 225 full moons. (up to date posted).
You'd know how I hate myself for everything that I have done (because I haven't made a difference or helped anyone)
I'm the year of the rat and my element is fire.
you'd know that this class has changed me.
You'd know that I make baby T-Rex noises when I'm stretching (yep, I'm a strange goose alright..)
The song that was popular the day I was born is: because you loved me by Celine Dion.
You'd know that I hate everything that I make. It always looks really bad, I don't see what you people see at all.
I'm not creative at all. I just steal from everybody.
you'd know that I haven't told anyone about my deepest regret (not even my best friend).
You'd know that secrets are crushing me.
I'm really nervous and terrified about graduating and also really relieved.
I'm don't even have a clue about what I'm going to write or speak for the open mic final.
I hate my handwriting. (it's not creative or original it looks like a 2nd grader's)
You'd know that I'm too much of a coward to actually open up my mouth and speak the truth.
I went out into my backyard today and just yelled and screamed at the top of my lungs. (I'm so glad that our neighbors don't judge us...)
You'd know that I'm sick and tired of one of my really close friends.
My favorite food is Lasagna and Funeral Potatoes (but not together of course).
you'd know that my hair is straight almost white blonde and ridiculously thin.
And that I hate how the front and the back hairs just like to stand straight up.
I've never died my hair.
If you really knew me, you'd know too much.
You'd know who I really am, and not who I pretend to be.
You'd know that I used to play sports and I enjoyed almost every minute of it. (except for some people, but I'll spare you the details.)
You'd know that I've never broken a bone or sprained anything.
You'd know that I'm slightly OCD but only with certain things.
You'd know that I hate talking about myself and you'd know the reason too.
You'd know about how I lie about hating everything and everyone.
You'd know how fascinated I am with everyone and how original and amazing everyone is.
You'd know that I like the way bruises and cuts look on my skin.
You'd know that I'm not worth your time.
You'd know that I hate my job, but I love the people that I work with.
You'd know that everyone at work talks bad about some customers (mostly the rude ones)
You'd know where I'm going to college (and how ashamed and disappointed I am at myself)
You'd know that everybody can hear you when you come through the drive-thru and think you are so cool and laughing with your friends when really everybody just thinks you are obnoxious and most of the time people generally don't like you.
this is getting too long....time to end it...
I'm just going to call this enough formal introductions for now.
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Ugh...dancing...
I have one sentence to describe last night:
I'm way more prepared for a street fight than a school dance.
Yep, If you saw that awkward blonde girl on the outside not dancing at all. Yep, that was me.
Things I was thinking while I was supposed to be dancing:
-It would be really easy to kill someone here because of these reasons:
1. There are so many red and green moving lasers that nobody would even notice is another one joined them (because there would be a sniper in the corner of the room underneath a table).
2. They wouldn't notice the red dot on their forehead. (because really who notices is one out of 100 red dots is staying in the same place? nobody.)
3. You wouldn't even be able to hear the gunshot (especially if the sniper used a silencer) because of how loud the music was.
4. The victim would fall to the ground and everyone would just assume they were a klutz and fell down.
5. And by the time everyone noticed that they were dead, the sniper would have been long gone.
-that is my messed up assassination plan.
-did any juniors send in pictures of themselves? and if so...did they get edited out?
-I don't belong here.
-I'm so glad I didn't send in a picture of myself.
-I really don't deserve to be here.
-Why did I waste $50 to come here?
-I'm not even having fun.
-How in the world do I remember so many of these people?
-I wish I could dance.
-I only dance in my room, behind closed doors and closed curtains.
-I wish I had driven my own car here.
-The problem with driving with friends is that you have to stay until everyone wants to go home.
-I feel really bad for the people have to work, and clean up after the idiot high school seniors.
-What is the point of dancing now anyway?
-I mean, congratulations you have survived going to school for 12 consecutive years, now it's time to celebrate? Really, it's not like you have to go back to school in a few months or anything like that...
I'm sorry for all you people who went last night and had a great time and disagree with me, but I don't really care.
I'm so done with caring,
high school,
And people.
-ME
I'm way more prepared for a street fight than a school dance.
Yep, If you saw that awkward blonde girl on the outside not dancing at all. Yep, that was me.
Things I was thinking while I was supposed to be dancing:
-It would be really easy to kill someone here because of these reasons:
1. There are so many red and green moving lasers that nobody would even notice is another one joined them (because there would be a sniper in the corner of the room underneath a table).
2. They wouldn't notice the red dot on their forehead. (because really who notices is one out of 100 red dots is staying in the same place? nobody.)
3. You wouldn't even be able to hear the gunshot (especially if the sniper used a silencer) because of how loud the music was.
4. The victim would fall to the ground and everyone would just assume they were a klutz and fell down.
5. And by the time everyone noticed that they were dead, the sniper would have been long gone.
-that is my messed up assassination plan.
-did any juniors send in pictures of themselves? and if so...did they get edited out?
-I don't belong here.
-I'm so glad I didn't send in a picture of myself.
-I really don't deserve to be here.
-Why did I waste $50 to come here?
-I'm not even having fun.
-How in the world do I remember so many of these people?
-I wish I could dance.
-I only dance in my room, behind closed doors and closed curtains.
-I wish I had driven my own car here.
-The problem with driving with friends is that you have to stay until everyone wants to go home.
-I feel really bad for the people have to work, and clean up after the idiot high school seniors.
-What is the point of dancing now anyway?
-I mean, congratulations you have survived going to school for 12 consecutive years, now it's time to celebrate? Really, it's not like you have to go back to school in a few months or anything like that...
I'm sorry for all you people who went last night and had a great time and disagree with me, but I don't really care.
I'm so done with caring,
high school,
And people.
-ME
Monday, May 12, 2014
the girl who wasn't remembered
I want to be noticed.
I want to be remembered.
The thing is I haven't done anything to remember.
all I've done is be the blonde girl in the corner with the sarcastic attitude.
Nobody remembers me and nobody cares.
I haven't done anything with my life.
I want to be one of those people that everybody looks up to. I wish I was more.
I wish I was better than I am.
I just want to be remembered.
Because nobody can remember my name and what I've done because I haven't done anything.
Life is a waste, my life is a waste.
And nobody's going to remember me for it.
The strange thing is....I can remember all of you guys...I know your names. I've had at least one class with almost all of you. I remember who you are because of your amazing accomplishments and personalities.
I remember who you are.
I know who you are.
But nobody remembers who I am.
But that's fine with me.
Because I really don't deserve it at all...and even if I was remembered it would probably be because of the wrong reasons.
People keep telling me how awesome they think I am and how funny and humorous I can be...or whatever else...
....But I don't see it.
All I see is me.
Someone who hasn't done anything with their life, doesn't know where they are going, and is never going to accomplish anything...
...and I don't want to hear any people saying...'no, you are great and you will accomplish great things'. and all that jazz.....bull crap...I'm never going to accomplish anything in my life.
Because I'm not important and I'm not memorable and I'm never going to be remembered....
-Alec Hardison (ME)
I want to be remembered.
The thing is I haven't done anything to remember.
all I've done is be the blonde girl in the corner with the sarcastic attitude.
Nobody remembers me and nobody cares.
I haven't done anything with my life.
I want to be one of those people that everybody looks up to. I wish I was more.
I wish I was better than I am.
I just want to be remembered.
Because nobody can remember my name and what I've done because I haven't done anything.
Life is a waste, my life is a waste.
And nobody's going to remember me for it.
The strange thing is....I can remember all of you guys...I know your names. I've had at least one class with almost all of you. I remember who you are because of your amazing accomplishments and personalities.
I remember who you are.
I know who you are.
But nobody remembers who I am.
But that's fine with me.
Because I really don't deserve it at all...and even if I was remembered it would probably be because of the wrong reasons.
People keep telling me how awesome they think I am and how funny and humorous I can be...or whatever else...
....But I don't see it.
All I see is me.
Someone who hasn't done anything with their life, doesn't know where they are going, and is never going to accomplish anything...
...and I don't want to hear any people saying...'no, you are great and you will accomplish great things'. and all that jazz.....bull crap...I'm never going to accomplish anything in my life.
Because I'm not important and I'm not memorable and I'm never going to be remembered....
-Alec Hardison (ME)
Sunday, May 11, 2014
I've been thinking....
i remember spilling root-beer all over the carpet in 5th grade.
i remember my best friend telling the teacher on me.
I remember trying to be the fastest runner in elementary school. I remember how I was the second fastest runner after another guy in my class.
i remember when homework was at least slightly enjoyable.
i remember when I thought I had superpowers.
I remember in junior high getting bullied.
I remember I just let it happen because I didn't have any friends.
i remember never getting to eat my lunch.
I remember sneaking into the pantry to eat more food whenever I was hungry.
I remember skipping lunch to just sit in the library and read.
I remember thinking in 6th grade that we would all still be great friends when high school rolled around, not ignore each other.
i remember when school seemed like an eternity and homework a lifetime to do, while the sun was setting.
i remember thinking how working at IKEA and sorting everything would be the greatest job ever.
I remember when my friend group completely changed.
I remember sticking a cricket on my parents and waiting for them to notice.
I remember feeling completely alone.
i remember in 10th grade thinking how suicide was just a stupid and cowardly way to go.
I remember caring about my grades.
i remember laughing with my friend about collecting tears, I would have plenty now, if we actually wanted to try it. I don't know what the experiment would even be about but it would be unusual.
I remember thinking that I would be social in high school and everything would be different.
i remember in 10th grade when I expected the lunches to be at least better. They weren't.
I remember when I actually ate lunch. everyday.
I remember having 6 birds, not 4.
I remember playing sports.
I remember the first time I ever tried a pb&j sandwich.
I remember being violent. And ruining people's lives.
i remember cutting open my finger with a rotary cutter and screaming for my mom.
I remember when I was the shortest of my friends.
i remember thinking how I was going to be a millionaire when I grew up.
I remember life being easier than it is now.
i remember my first job.
i remember hitting the umpire with the bat and getting yelled at by my coach.
I remember my first day of work. I remember the manager and how scary she was. And how right then and there, I wanted to get a new job.
i remember you and the way that we became friends.
I remember too much....but never enough...
i remember. but i don't think that you do...
i remember my best friend telling the teacher on me.
I remember trying to be the fastest runner in elementary school. I remember how I was the second fastest runner after another guy in my class.
i remember when homework was at least slightly enjoyable.
i remember when I thought I had superpowers.
I remember in junior high getting bullied.
I remember I just let it happen because I didn't have any friends.
i remember never getting to eat my lunch.
I remember sneaking into the pantry to eat more food whenever I was hungry.
I remember skipping lunch to just sit in the library and read.
I remember thinking in 6th grade that we would all still be great friends when high school rolled around, not ignore each other.
i remember when school seemed like an eternity and homework a lifetime to do, while the sun was setting.
i remember thinking how working at IKEA and sorting everything would be the greatest job ever.
I remember when my friend group completely changed.
I remember sticking a cricket on my parents and waiting for them to notice.
I remember feeling completely alone.
i remember in 10th grade thinking how suicide was just a stupid and cowardly way to go.
I remember caring about my grades.
i remember laughing with my friend about collecting tears, I would have plenty now, if we actually wanted to try it. I don't know what the experiment would even be about but it would be unusual.
I remember thinking that I would be social in high school and everything would be different.
i remember in 10th grade when I expected the lunches to be at least better. They weren't.
I remember when I actually ate lunch. everyday.
I remember having 6 birds, not 4.
I remember playing sports.
I remember the first time I ever tried a pb&j sandwich.
I remember being violent. And ruining people's lives.
i remember cutting open my finger with a rotary cutter and screaming for my mom.
I remember when I was the shortest of my friends.
i remember thinking how I was going to be a millionaire when I grew up.
I remember life being easier than it is now.
i remember my first job.
i remember hitting the umpire with the bat and getting yelled at by my coach.
I remember my first day of work. I remember the manager and how scary she was. And how right then and there, I wanted to get a new job.
i remember you and the way that we became friends.
I remember too much....but never enough...
i remember. but i don't think that you do...
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Real People
I have learned that you can REALLY get to know somebody
such as their moral character and true self (because everybody can pretend to be better than they are most of the time...)
when you work with them
late at night and somebody is not doing their job.
Here are some possibilities that they could do that would show you who they really are:
(I have worked with people who have actually done all of the things below)
such as their moral character and true self (because everybody can pretend to be better than they are most of the time...)
when you work with them
late at night and somebody is not doing their job.
Here are some possibilities that they could do that would show you who they really are:
(I have worked with people who have actually done all of the things below)
- swear (loudly or quietly)
- scream
- get sarcastic
- get annoying
- start to sing
- be silent and sulking
- cry
- get in a fight (verbal or physical)
- or
- demand that they will be leaving at a certain time
these are just some of the most common things that happen late at night when employees are tired and grumpy and just want to go home.
Black and White letters
Seen Before
showing instability could turn out to be a success along with an argument.
Madness and knowledge end intellectual understanding
-ME
Monday, April 28, 2014
Easter Karma
Karma: what goes around comes around.
"...well it's not and it's going to come back and bite you in the butt, MISTER!"
"Well...looks like crap came back to bite you in the butt, MISTER"
-Olan Rogers
(the comeback kid)
Well, a true act of Karma happened yesterday. Okay here it is..
I threw easter eggs at my sister. (oh, calm down, not REAL eggs you idiot! Just plastic.) and then..
I came home at around 1:00 am from work and I'm trying to get to sleep, in my bed and guess what I find...
EASTER FREAKING EGGS!!! which I have to say is quite a surprise when trying to fall asleep in your bed when you find lumps under your sheets.
an example of Karma right there..
Okay...so this is one of my all time favorite videos ever..
I'm sorry it's just really amusing to me..
Watch if you want..
If you don't...whatever...
Comebacks and Karma....the way to go...
"...well it's not and it's going to come back and bite you in the butt, MISTER!"
"Well...looks like crap came back to bite you in the butt, MISTER"
-Olan Rogers
(the comeback kid)
Well, a true act of Karma happened yesterday. Okay here it is..
I threw easter eggs at my sister. (oh, calm down, not REAL eggs you idiot! Just plastic.) and then..
I came home at around 1:00 am from work and I'm trying to get to sleep, in my bed and guess what I find...
EASTER FREAKING EGGS!!! which I have to say is quite a surprise when trying to fall asleep in your bed when you find lumps under your sheets.
an example of Karma right there..
Okay...so this is one of my all time favorite videos ever..
I'm sorry it's just really amusing to me..
Watch if you want..
If you don't...whatever...
Comebacks and Karma....the way to go...
Sunday, April 27, 2014
how to.......STUFF
how to get angry
-stub your toe into something
-don't eat anything for breakfast
-don't get enough sleep
how to be happy (just some ideas)
-eat anything and everything (unless you are allergic to it...in that case I would advise you not to eat everything...)
-wear sweatpants
-listen to music
-write
-draw (if writing is not your thing..)
-rent a puppy
-sleep (maybe naps, if you enjoy those)
how to lose all your friends
-say something mean
-hold a grudge
-be stubborn
how to be sarcastic
-learn from the master (me)
how to make me hate you (hopefully these do not apply to you)
DISCLAIMER: Some people actually do these things and I do not hate them...it all depends on my mood....
-think you are all that and a bag of Cheetos
-get in an argument with me
-annoy me
-be my rival
-refuse to answer my questions
-make me jealous
-tease me
-try to be something you are not
-lie to my face
-embarrass me
-try to match my sarcasm
-make me feel worthless
-get on my bad side
-be too optimistic for my liking
don't ask me why the one about how to make me hate you is the longest..it just is..probably because i'm in a bad mood right now...
-stub your toe into something
-don't eat anything for breakfast
-don't get enough sleep
how to be happy (just some ideas)
-eat anything and everything (unless you are allergic to it...in that case I would advise you not to eat everything...)
-wear sweatpants
-listen to music
-write
-draw (if writing is not your thing..)
-rent a puppy
-sleep (maybe naps, if you enjoy those)
how to lose all your friends
-say something mean
-hold a grudge
-be stubborn
how to be sarcastic
-learn from the master (me)
how to make me hate you (hopefully these do not apply to you)
DISCLAIMER: Some people actually do these things and I do not hate them...it all depends on my mood....
-think you are all that and a bag of Cheetos
-get in an argument with me
-annoy me
-be my rival
-refuse to answer my questions
-make me jealous
-tease me
-try to be something you are not
-lie to my face
-embarrass me
-try to match my sarcasm
-make me feel worthless
-get on my bad side
-be too optimistic for my liking
don't ask me why the one about how to make me hate you is the longest..it just is..probably because i'm in a bad mood right now...
Thursday, April 24, 2014
And now...I'm terrified...
I'm sorry...but when Nelson reveals the truth to people...it automatically gives me anxiety...and makes me nervous.
I know I shouldn't be...but
I just am...
I'm sorry..this just gives me anxiety...
...and...
I'm terrified...
But I guess I can officially introduce myself to you...
...Hello!..?
I'll do the formal introductions later...
but anyway....
Hi.....
I'm not officially sure if I was ready for this yet...
I'm excited and nervous and anxious all at the same time...
And it's because of you people...and Nelson...
-Alec Hardison
I know I shouldn't be...but
I just am...
I'm sorry..this just gives me anxiety...
...and...
I'm terrified...
But I guess I can officially introduce myself to you...
...Hello!..?
I'll do the formal introductions later...
but anyway....
Hi.....
I'm not officially sure if I was ready for this yet...
I'm excited and nervous and anxious all at the same time...
And it's because of you people...and Nelson...
-Alec Hardison
Monday, April 21, 2014
Coward
"bravery runs in my family" - A. R. Ammons
except for me I'm the coward of the family.
I haven't done anything with my life. (anything notable that is...)
I've never been on a date.
I've never been to a dance.
I've never been kissed.
I've never kissed anyone.
I've never done anything dangerous in my life.
I've never done anything dangerous in my life.
I knew that I wouldn't get a date to prom so I made sure that I was working just so I wouldn't have to sit at home all alone.
Probably because I'm a coward.
Yep,
I'm
a
freaking
coward.
-Alec Hardison
Yep,
I'm
a
freaking
coward.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Chairs that I think are Sad
I fell down the stairs
I don't have any friends
Party for one
Hitchhiking
Forgotten along with the Christmas decorations
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
Vacation
I'm sick of vacation.
I'm sick of being away from my home.
Yes, I'm homesick.
I miss my friends, I miss doing stuff with them for as long as possible, because really, we are all going away off to college in a few months and I just want to spend the time I have now with them.
I'm sick of my siblings telling me how to swim or what I look like.
LOOK HERE MISTER! I'M THE OLDER SIBLING RIGHT NOW SO JUST SHUT UP!
I'm sick of how the chlorine in the pool is turning my hair green.
I'm sick of the way of the water is because it's different than I'm used to.
I'm sick.
I feel sick, because of that mystery shack.
I'm sick of driving in the car, listening to static with some random sound or phrase here and there.
I'm sick of pretending to be enjoying myself.
I'm sick of the heat.
I'm sick of all the Spanish radio stations.
I'm sick of sleeping on the floor.
I miss my bed and how I can just immediately fall asleep in it.
I'm sick of this vacation.
How's your spring break coming along?
-Alec Hardison
I'm sick of being away from my home.
Yes, I'm homesick.
I miss my friends, I miss doing stuff with them for as long as possible, because really, we are all going away off to college in a few months and I just want to spend the time I have now with them.
I'm sick of my siblings telling me how to swim or what I look like.
LOOK HERE MISTER! I'M THE OLDER SIBLING RIGHT NOW SO JUST SHUT UP!
I'm sick of how the chlorine in the pool is turning my hair green.
I'm sick of the way of the water is because it's different than I'm used to.
I'm sick.
I feel sick, because of that mystery shack.
I'm sick of driving in the car, listening to static with some random sound or phrase here and there.
I'm sick of pretending to be enjoying myself.
I'm sick of the heat.
I'm sick of all the Spanish radio stations.
I'm sick of sleeping on the floor.
I miss my bed and how I can just immediately fall asleep in it.
I'm sick of this vacation.
How's your spring break coming along?
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Things we have so far forgetten on our trip:
-Swedish fish
-pick-stand
-napkins
-paper plates
-a real knife
-my sister's camera charger
-my mother's brushes
-ice scraper
-my positive attitude
-patience
-good food
this is going to be so fun
-Alec Hardison
-pick-stand
-napkins
-paper plates
-a real knife
-my sister's camera charger
-my mother's brushes
-my positive attitude
-patience
-good food
this is going to be so fun
-Alec Hardison
The Rider
By Naomi Shihab Nye
A boy told me
if he roller-skated fast enough
his loneliness couldn't catch up to him,
the best reason I ever heard
for trying to be a champion.
What I wonder tonight
pedaling hard down King William Street
is if it translates to bicycles.
A victory! To leave your loneliness
panting behind you on some street corner
while you float free into a cloud of sudden azaleas,
pink petals that have never felt loneliness,
no matter how slowly they fell.
Reasons I'm jealous of this poem:
-the title
-the whole message
-the line 'his loneliness couldn't catch up to him'
-how the author wonders if this concept also works with bicycles
-the wording
-how smooth and swift practically, how it is phrased
-I wish I could write something amazing like this
-It's so simple I think 'why didn't I do that?'
-'to leave your loneliness panting behind you on some street corner'
-I'm jealous of this poem
-It's a fact.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Je ne sais pas
These are just some of the questions that I thought of today:
Who came up with Escalators?
Can your brain actually ever be full?
What would I do in the 8 minutes after the sun exploded?
Why do most idiots think they are cool?
Why are people so mean?
What if poisonous berries aren't really poisonous, it's just that the first guy to try them was allergic to them?
If swimming is such a good exercise then why are whales still fat?
Why are people so afraid of death, when it is always inevitably going to happen, you can't stop it?
Why do when get older we turn back into babies?
Why do we like sweet things?
What is the use of the appendix?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
Why does the sun drain all your energy?
Why do you remember things better with songs or music?
Why do people who are the most comfortable with each other feel the need to make fun of them the most?
Why is people watching so fun?
I wonder how my friends and I look to other people not in our group?
How long would I actually survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Why do cars always break down at the wrong time?
Why does the library not ever have what you want?
What happened to Blockbuster, wait, I know the answer to that: Netflix!
Why are people so self-conscious?
I saw a mockingbird in the park, what color was the mockingbird?
Have you ever fainted from talking too fast?
I wonder why are people so curious?
Why is school life long periods of boredom punctuated by brief deadlines of panic?
Does everybody make T-rex noises while they are stretching or is that just me?
I don't know what I'm mumbling about.
-Alec Hardison
Who came up with Escalators?
Can your brain actually ever be full?
What would I do in the 8 minutes after the sun exploded?
Why do most idiots think they are cool?
Why are people so mean?
What if poisonous berries aren't really poisonous, it's just that the first guy to try them was allergic to them?
If swimming is such a good exercise then why are whales still fat?
Why are people so afraid of death, when it is always inevitably going to happen, you can't stop it?
Why do when get older we turn back into babies?
Why do we like sweet things?
What is the use of the appendix?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
Why does the sun drain all your energy?
Why do you remember things better with songs or music?
Why do people who are the most comfortable with each other feel the need to make fun of them the most?
Why is people watching so fun?
I wonder how my friends and I look to other people not in our group?
How long would I actually survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Why do cars always break down at the wrong time?
Why does the library not ever have what you want?
What happened to Blockbuster, wait, I know the answer to that: Netflix!
Why are people so self-conscious?
I saw a mockingbird in the park, what color was the mockingbird?
Have you ever fainted from talking too fast?
I wonder why are people so curious?
Why is school life long periods of boredom punctuated by brief deadlines of panic?
Does everybody make T-rex noises while they are stretching or is that just me?
I don't know what I'm mumbling about.
-Alec Hardison
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Becki
I didn't get the job I have now because I wanted friends. Honestly I got it because I needed the money. You are so strange. We both got the job around the same time. And through all the changes of managers and employees you are still here. And I want to know why. When I got the job all I did was work the front counter just like you. And like everybody else I asked my routine questions to try and get to know people in my own strange and quirky way. But you didn't seem to be like everybody else. You had something that nobody else had shown me, I guess you could call it caring, or kindness. I don't know. You started out by everybody else answering the questions normally until you really noticed that I wasn't answering the questions just deflecting them or shoving them aside and asking another. But you didn't become stubborn like everybody else and refuse to answer. I mean you did, but not for very long. I'm sorry if I beat the will out of you. I seem to do that to everybody. You started to get curious. You got closer than anyone I've ever known. I still don't know why I've let you that close, probably because I'm weak. You were so alluring and sweet you just made me want to give up the mask and the facade and just tell you, but then again, not really. You have a secret way of breaking down my barriers that I put up in the first place. You were so skillful at what you were doing I even relied on you, when I needed someone the most. That was never supposed to happen. And I guess it all did happen because of my weird curiosity of asking personal, deep questions. And really, I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I had to just fly off the handle and freak out and i feel like I am just constantly pouring out my soul to you. When I never even realized I was pouring from the pitcher at all. I hate and love working with you and your buddy all at the same time. I hate it because sometimes I feel left out, but then i love it when you include me in your conversation. I hate it when I say something stupid but then I love it when you laugh at my sarcasm or pessimistic-ness.
Bailey was talking about his life and how he is a magnet of bad things happening to him. "Bing, Bing, Bing,"..etc.
And of course I said a quick witty sarcastic remark to that "Does it actually make that sound?" or something relatively to that.
And you just started laughing and you said "I love your comments Alec!" or something like that.
That just made me feel so good. I don't know why, probably because you actually appreciated my sarcasm as being funny or at least amusing rather than straight up rude which is what it normally is.
I don't know, you just have a type of radiating happiness that makes you want to stay around you. Every time I look at the schedule I look to see if I work any shifts with you, even just like a couple hours with you. Because you are my beacon. You seem to have a way with people. You make me curious. You have always said that you just don't have any deepest regrets and I can never wrap my head around that idea. Because I've always had regrets. I carry them around constantly. My deepest regret is in a shoe box in my closet.
You amaze me. You make me want to try and be a better person even though I never will be. You just are awesome. I'm not trying to be poetic or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell the truth. Because everybody should be able to hear the truth. Even if they don't want to. I'm sorry I apologize all the time, for things that don't really matter. I'm sorry I'm really obnoxious and nosy, I'm sorry.
You make me feel so happy, and overjoyed.
You influence my life for the better.
...and I just want to say..
Thank you...
Thank you for being my friend, when I really needed one.
Thank you, I feel like I can never truly re-pay you.
Thanks for everything.
-Alec Hardison
Bailey was talking about his life and how he is a magnet of bad things happening to him. "Bing, Bing, Bing,"..etc.
And of course I said a quick witty sarcastic remark to that "Does it actually make that sound?" or something relatively to that.
And you just started laughing and you said "I love your comments Alec!" or something like that.
That just made me feel so good. I don't know why, probably because you actually appreciated my sarcasm as being funny or at least amusing rather than straight up rude which is what it normally is.
I don't know, you just have a type of radiating happiness that makes you want to stay around you. Every time I look at the schedule I look to see if I work any shifts with you, even just like a couple hours with you. Because you are my beacon. You seem to have a way with people. You make me curious. You have always said that you just don't have any deepest regrets and I can never wrap my head around that idea. Because I've always had regrets. I carry them around constantly. My deepest regret is in a shoe box in my closet.
You amaze me. You make me want to try and be a better person even though I never will be. You just are awesome. I'm not trying to be poetic or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell the truth. Because everybody should be able to hear the truth. Even if they don't want to. I'm sorry I apologize all the time, for things that don't really matter. I'm sorry I'm really obnoxious and nosy, I'm sorry.
You make me feel so happy, and overjoyed.
You influence my life for the better.
...and I just want to say..
Thank you...
Thank you for being my friend, when I really needed one.
Thank you, I feel like I can never truly re-pay you.
Thanks for everything.
-Alec Hardison
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I feel like this needed a title to fit in with all the rest
You asked me how I knew.
I said that's a complicated answer.
but the short answer is:
I can just read people well.
Here's the long version:
I could tell in the way your smile faltered when no one was looking
I saw it in the way you walked down the hallway trying to face the troubles of the day.
I saw it in effort it took to talk to me.
I saw it your eyes, and the sadness there.
I knew it in the way that you ached, but pretended not to.
I knew it in how you carried yourself around
I knew it in how you tried to hide it
I saw it in your hands with your handwriting
I saw it in the way you gave someone a compliment
I don't know how to describe it
I just knew.
I knew, because I can read people.
I know you were trying to hide it from the world but that just made it more obvious to me.
-Alec Hardison
I said that's a complicated answer.
but the short answer is:
I can just read people well.
Here's the long version:
I could tell in the way your smile faltered when no one was looking
I saw it in the way you walked down the hallway trying to face the troubles of the day.
I saw it in effort it took to talk to me.
I saw it your eyes, and the sadness there.
I knew it in the way that you ached, but pretended not to.
I knew it in how you carried yourself around
I knew it in how you tried to hide it
I saw it in your hands with your handwriting
I saw it in the way you gave someone a compliment
I don't know how to describe it
I just knew.
I knew, because I can read people.
I know you were trying to hide it from the world but that just made it more obvious to me.
-Alec Hardison
Monday, March 24, 2014
Stranded (the story of the day)
My truck broke down today while I was trying to drive home with my sister. It was having troubles but I just assumed that it would be fine because it's a little gut-less wonder. We are on the overpass of the freeway in the left lane. And it just dies. I try to start it again, and again, and again. And nothing happens, which is never a good sign.
I started to panic.
It's not starting at all and I'm stranded in the middle of the road.
I started to bawl.
I probably sat there in the truck for about 5 minutes just bawling while people are driving around me and honking. I would've moved out of your way if I could've.
Then this lady came up to my passenger side and helped to push our little truck to the right side of the road. I was still crying. I could tell that my crying was making my sister uncomfortable.
I called my both my parents and they couldn't understand me through my sobbing. I had to pull to together to get it out that I was stranded with my sister on the side of the road.
Another man pulled over to the side and comforted me by waiting for my parents to show up before he left. I thanked him graciously because I wasn't sure if I could stand being stranded there all by myself.
After about an hour my parents shows up and we towed my little truck back home.
I've been home for a while I can't stop crying. I know it's just a truck and we could always get a new one....but I don't know...this is mine.
Going to the pond today was great and I thought that today was going to be a good day.
my life was going pretty good, and then this
I guess it's my time bomb again
-Alec Hardison
I started to panic.
It's not starting at all and I'm stranded in the middle of the road.
I started to bawl.
I probably sat there in the truck for about 5 minutes just bawling while people are driving around me and honking. I would've moved out of your way if I could've.
Then this lady came up to my passenger side and helped to push our little truck to the right side of the road. I was still crying. I could tell that my crying was making my sister uncomfortable.
I called my both my parents and they couldn't understand me through my sobbing. I had to pull to together to get it out that I was stranded with my sister on the side of the road.
Another man pulled over to the side and comforted me by waiting for my parents to show up before he left. I thanked him graciously because I wasn't sure if I could stand being stranded there all by myself.
After about an hour my parents shows up and we towed my little truck back home.
I've been home for a while I can't stop crying. I know it's just a truck and we could always get a new one....but I don't know...this is mine.
Going to the pond today was great and I thought that today was going to be a good day.
my life was going pretty good, and then this
I guess it's my time bomb again
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 23, 2014
my space camp
The first thing I thought of when Nelson said 'space camp' was the first time that I went to space camp in elementary school. When I was 9. (coincidentally)
Except this space camp wasn't about learning to be an astronaut or dreams. It was about the future. The future of space technology and fighting aliens. We all got assigned positions and stations and jobs.
I remember my first mission in 5th grade.
I was the captain, which was really strange because I wasn't the person that was ever known. I was the outcast. 'Outcasts aren't supposed to be the captain.' I didn't think that until many years later, because for me, anything could happen.
They led us into the training area where we got our little blue vests and instructions on the mission we were going to do that day. I was so excited. Our mission was something along the lines of 'try to convince these people to do something and protect these people and free the slaves' (I can't exactly remember how it went.)
We were originally supposed to be on the Odyssey but our crew didn't have enough people. So we were assigned the Phoenix. Which was a smaller ship with only 5 crew members.
they sent us through the 'portal' and then we were trained for our positions.
Since I was the captain and this mission was designed to test us I had this little device where somebody could tell me what to do if I needed help or advice. It was my conscience. And this person through the headphones had an Irish accent and would help me and my crew constantly get out of trouble. We did die a few times from spaceship malfunction and engineer malfunctions (like not being able to back out of the space port and blowing up, or not stopping in time and running into an oncoming friendly spaceship. yep as you can see we were experts at this sort of thing.)
I wish I still had a conscience helping me along every step of the way. (one of the rules of having a conscience be your guide was that you could never refer to it as being there. You couldn't say 'my conscience says that we should probably head north and maybe talk to the pirates.' even if you had a conscience telling you what to do you had to refer to those ideas that were popping into your head as your own.)
I guess that that rule still applies today, probably so people don't assume that you are crazy, but perhaps you are. (have I gone mad? I'm afraid so, but let me tell you a secret: all the best people are.-Alice in Wonderland.)
I remember being so frustrated, I wanted to just complete the mission because it really shouldn't have been that hard.
I remember after we ran out of time going back to school and the disappointment in everybody's eyes.
What would I do if I only had a few months to live, that's easy.
I would go back to space camp.
(I'm not sure I understood the prompt. But then again, I do what I want.)
I wasn't really sure where I was going with this at all. Apparently I wanted to jump around a lot.
-Alec Hardison
Except this space camp wasn't about learning to be an astronaut or dreams. It was about the future. The future of space technology and fighting aliens. We all got assigned positions and stations and jobs.
I remember my first mission in 5th grade.
I was the captain, which was really strange because I wasn't the person that was ever known. I was the outcast. 'Outcasts aren't supposed to be the captain.' I didn't think that until many years later, because for me, anything could happen.
They led us into the training area where we got our little blue vests and instructions on the mission we were going to do that day. I was so excited. Our mission was something along the lines of 'try to convince these people to do something and protect these people and free the slaves' (I can't exactly remember how it went.)
We were originally supposed to be on the Odyssey but our crew didn't have enough people. So we were assigned the Phoenix. Which was a smaller ship with only 5 crew members.
they sent us through the 'portal' and then we were trained for our positions.
Since I was the captain and this mission was designed to test us I had this little device where somebody could tell me what to do if I needed help or advice. It was my conscience. And this person through the headphones had an Irish accent and would help me and my crew constantly get out of trouble. We did die a few times from spaceship malfunction and engineer malfunctions (like not being able to back out of the space port and blowing up, or not stopping in time and running into an oncoming friendly spaceship. yep as you can see we were experts at this sort of thing.)
I wish I still had a conscience helping me along every step of the way. (one of the rules of having a conscience be your guide was that you could never refer to it as being there. You couldn't say 'my conscience says that we should probably head north and maybe talk to the pirates.' even if you had a conscience telling you what to do you had to refer to those ideas that were popping into your head as your own.)
I guess that that rule still applies today, probably so people don't assume that you are crazy, but perhaps you are. (have I gone mad? I'm afraid so, but let me tell you a secret: all the best people are.-Alice in Wonderland.)
I remember being so frustrated, I wanted to just complete the mission because it really shouldn't have been that hard.
I remember after we ran out of time going back to school and the disappointment in everybody's eyes.
What would I do if I only had a few months to live, that's easy.
I would go back to space camp.
(I'm not sure I understood the prompt. But then again, I do what I want.)
I wasn't really sure where I was going with this at all. Apparently I wanted to jump around a lot.
-Alec Hardison
Monday, March 17, 2014
[title goes here]
Dear you,
I don't know what it is exactly about you and your family, they are just comforting.
You guys are enchanting. Your whole house is quiet and peaceful. No yelling or screaming. You asked me if I liked to play Settlers of Catan. I have to say that is one of the most random questions I have ever been asked before. I only stopped by to lend you a book and in turn you gave me someone to talk to, cookies, you listened and you actually looked like you were interested. Your house seems like a safe haven from my chaotic life, you just make me smile. Your eyes just make me want to stay all night and listen to your stories and talk about life with you. I want to know more about you and your struggles but I'm too much of a coward to ask. You make me want to stay and just talk, and talk, and talk until my throat feels raw and parched. But all good things come to an end. I had to leave, because like always, I have stuff to get done. I should have left earlier but the sensation from standing there made me feel alive. You make me feel nervous, and jumpy, and scared, and feel like I'm going to cry all at the same time. I just don't know how to use these wonderful 26 letters to explain what you make me feel like.
Thanks,
(but I don't deserve it).
-Alec Hardison
I don't know what it is exactly about you and your family, they are just comforting.
You guys are enchanting. Your whole house is quiet and peaceful. No yelling or screaming. You asked me if I liked to play Settlers of Catan. I have to say that is one of the most random questions I have ever been asked before. I only stopped by to lend you a book and in turn you gave me someone to talk to, cookies, you listened and you actually looked like you were interested. Your house seems like a safe haven from my chaotic life, you just make me smile. Your eyes just make me want to stay all night and listen to your stories and talk about life with you. I want to know more about you and your struggles but I'm too much of a coward to ask. You make me want to stay and just talk, and talk, and talk until my throat feels raw and parched. But all good things come to an end. I had to leave, because like always, I have stuff to get done. I should have left earlier but the sensation from standing there made me feel alive. You make me feel nervous, and jumpy, and scared, and feel like I'm going to cry all at the same time. I just don't know how to use these wonderful 26 letters to explain what you make me feel like.
Thanks,
(but I don't deserve it).
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Welcome to the Club
Death seems to be at every corner tempting me.
Death tempts me
at the knife block in the kitchen while I'm making a sandwich.
Death tempts me while I'm at the pool or the ocean
at the grocery store.
at the trampoline
in the pantry
on the playground
at the doctor's
in the bathroom
in my room
in my car
next to the treadmill
on the bridge
in the fridge
in my bed.
Death seems to have nothing to do
Death sees how weak I am and knows that I can be tempted.
So he tempts me.
(and I don't know how to get rid of him)
Death tempts me
at the knife block in the kitchen while I'm making a sandwich.
Death tempts me while I'm at the pool or the ocean
at the grocery store.
at the trampoline
in the pantry
on the playground
at the doctor's
in the bathroom
in my room
in my car
next to the treadmill
on the bridge
in the fridge
in my bed.
Death seems to have nothing to do
Death sees how weak I am and knows that I can be tempted.
So he tempts me.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
You, yes you! I'm talking to you!
Dear you,
You make me so angry you say that it is all my fault when really I have done nothing wrong in the eyes of others...you make me so mad I want to just drive over to your house just so I can scream and yell and cry all around you. I'm crying right now, but do you see that NO you don't because you don't even care enough to come over and see. Instead you hide behind the new phone you got for Christmas not even caring about your friend. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you telling me how to act and what to do and where we should go out to lunch and where we should sit and what we should watch. You make me so mad and angry i just want to throw this laptop across the room and just yell and scream until my throat and lungs are raw and bleeding. I feel like you just voted me off the freaking island and then you blame everything that is happening on me. You make me so angry, you act like everything is fine even when you want something different. You say that you want us to stay friends and then you act like it's just my fault makes us secluded and separated from the other friend group. don't you forget that you helped with that too. I hate that you automatically assume that I'm the wishy-washy one when you can't even decide which place you want to go eat at until you start driving, same with movies. I"m sick of you always getting to drive. I'm sick of all your excuses like 'I get sick when other people drive'. I hate that you assume that I'll be working and I'm indecisive and you think that I can't be on my own and then you tell me different perspectives of everything. I don't think I can trust you anymore. Because you are two-faced. You just make me so mad. I'm sick of being stabbed in the back with talking and then actions. I'm just sick of everything. You make me so angry.
I'm just so sick of you.
I don't know if I can still stand to be around you
you make me sick.
-Alec Hardison
You make me so angry you say that it is all my fault when really I have done nothing wrong in the eyes of others...you make me so mad I want to just drive over to your house just so I can scream and yell and cry all around you. I'm crying right now, but do you see that NO you don't because you don't even care enough to come over and see. Instead you hide behind the new phone you got for Christmas not even caring about your friend. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you telling me how to act and what to do and where we should go out to lunch and where we should sit and what we should watch. You make me so mad and angry i just want to throw this laptop across the room and just yell and scream until my throat and lungs are raw and bleeding. I feel like you just voted me off the freaking island and then you blame everything that is happening on me. You make me so angry, you act like everything is fine even when you want something different. You say that you want us to stay friends and then you act like it's just my fault makes us secluded and separated from the other friend group. don't you forget that you helped with that too. I hate that you automatically assume that I'm the wishy-washy one when you can't even decide which place you want to go eat at until you start driving, same with movies. I"m sick of you always getting to drive. I'm sick of all your excuses like 'I get sick when other people drive'. I hate that you assume that I'll be working and I'm indecisive and you think that I can't be on my own and then you tell me different perspectives of everything. I don't think I can trust you anymore. Because you are two-faced. You just make me so mad. I'm sick of being stabbed in the back with talking and then actions. I'm just sick of everything. You make me so angry.
I'm just so sick of you.
I don't know if I can still stand to be around you
you make me sick.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Confessions
Truths are always harder to tell than lies. But lies are easier to say.
I have depression (severe)
I have always secretly wanted to go to be the change (but I guess it's too late now)
My right leg shakes when I'm really nervous or scared
I can't scream (I've tried, nothing works, roller coasters, being scared, scary movies..etc. nothing works)
I see the world differently than everybody else.
I hate my name (Alec!!! Get down here!! You have stuff that needs to be done!)
My real name is _____. (Sometimes I wish I would actually tell the world who i am, the other half of me is wondering why I would ever want to do that)
I have always wished that someone would give me a nickname. (I was once on this soccer team and everybody had a nickname...except for me. I was always just me.)
I hate the sound of my voice (when I listen to my voice i wonder how i still have friends)
My parents think I'm suicidal.
I'm too good at keeping secrets (and i feel like it's slowly crushing me like a huge weight i'm holding above my head)
I have problems letting people into my life
My friend has saved me with her caring (she will never know how much she has partially saved me from the darkness)
I have been drowning in darkness
I hate expectations
I hate being wrong
I wish I knew how to pick locks, be a forger, and be a pickpocket or magician
I am afraid of guillotines (as stated before, it's still true, and irrational)
The idea of drowning freaks me out
when I am at school I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.
stupid people in large groups can do amazing things
I'm terrified that I'm going to have to reveal who I really am at the end of this class.
AP Calculus is so freaking hard
I wish I was one of those amazing blogs that everyone always talks about and gets lots of comments (because I don't know why, I need the comments, I need the validation that i'm writing something at least partially good)
I'm very needy (it's almost pathetic)
College stress just makes me want to curl up into a very small ball in the corner and cry myself to sleep
I wish I was different, but different people never fit in.
I'm kind of sick of signing my name at the end of each blog post.
I wish I could just be myself
I'm sorry for this crappy blog post.
I have depression (severe)
I have always secretly wanted to go to be the change (but I guess it's too late now)
My right leg shakes when I'm really nervous or scared
I can't scream (I've tried, nothing works, roller coasters, being scared, scary movies..etc. nothing works)
I see the world differently than everybody else.
I hate my name (Alec!!! Get down here!! You have stuff that needs to be done!)
My real name is _____. (Sometimes I wish I would actually tell the world who i am, the other half of me is wondering why I would ever want to do that)
I have always wished that someone would give me a nickname. (I was once on this soccer team and everybody had a nickname...except for me. I was always just me.)
I hate the sound of my voice (when I listen to my voice i wonder how i still have friends)
My parents think I'm suicidal.
I'm too good at keeping secrets (and i feel like it's slowly crushing me like a huge weight i'm holding above my head)
I have problems letting people into my life
My friend has saved me with her caring (she will never know how much she has partially saved me from the darkness)
I have been drowning in darkness
I hate expectations
I hate being wrong
I wish I knew how to pick locks, be a forger, and be a pickpocket or magician
I am afraid of guillotines (as stated before, it's still true, and irrational)
The idea of drowning freaks me out
when I am at school I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.
stupid people in large groups can do amazing things
I'm terrified that I'm going to have to reveal who I really am at the end of this class.
AP Calculus is so freaking hard
I wish I was one of those amazing blogs that everyone always talks about and gets lots of comments (because I don't know why, I need the comments, I need the validation that i'm writing something at least partially good)
I'm very needy (it's almost pathetic)
College stress just makes me want to curl up into a very small ball in the corner and cry myself to sleep
I wish I was different, but different people never fit in.
I'm kind of sick of signing my name at the end of each blog post.
I wish I could just be myself
I'm sorry for this crappy blog post.
AFRAID
I'm afraid
I'm afraid that people are reading this. That they're not.
I'm afraid that people are reading this, but not leaving a comment.
I want to know what you think, tell me straight up. please.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
I'm afraid of guillotines,
yes I do admit that one is stupid and irrational.
I'm afraid of having my life go right again.
Because every time my life seems to be better or normal like it used to IT happens.
I don't think I am able to just let my life be good. Because for me, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve having awesome parents
I don't deserve friends who laugh at my stupid jokes
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve it
I'm like a time-ticking clock bomb
Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
I never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong.
I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of becoming a suicide case.
I'm afraid speaking in front of people.
I'm afraid of being alone
I'm afraid of the people that say they are there for me aren't.
I'm afraid of what I would find if I could read people's thoughts.
I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I'm afraid of the future.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
I'm afraid.
and I don't know what to do about it.
I'm afraid that people are reading this. That they're not.
I'm afraid that people are reading this, but not leaving a comment.
I want to know what you think, tell me straight up. please.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
I'm afraid of guillotines,
yes I do admit that one is stupid and irrational.
I'm afraid of having my life go right again.
Because every time my life seems to be better or normal like it used to IT happens.
I don't think I am able to just let my life be good. Because for me, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve having awesome parents
I don't deserve friends who laugh at my stupid jokes
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve it
I'm like a time-ticking clock bomb
Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
I never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong.
I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of becoming a suicide case.
I'm afraid speaking in front of people.
I'm afraid of being alone
I'm afraid of the people that say they are there for me aren't.
I'm afraid of what I would find if I could read people's thoughts.
I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I'm afraid of the future.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
I'm afraid.
and I don't know what to do about it.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Bricks thrown with Anger
When I was 6 I threw those bricks at my brother.
Don't be worried, I just think he started crying, but they couldn't have hurt that much?
(Besides when we left them out and would accidentally step on them, that actually freaking hurt like no other)
I mean....they are just plastic, not concrete. But I remember that day. My parents got so angry at me. And I didn't see the problem.
"what? it's not my fault I threw those Lego bricks at him!"
"He was making me mad!!"
"He took all the cool Lego things and people!!"
"He took Pantsey!" (pantsey was this Lego character that m brother and I had created together that had really short legs and an extremely long neck. That we always fought over, don't ask me why.)
But Lego's (bricks) have so much potential. You can build practically ANYTHING out of them.
and that's sometimes the worst problem.
You can build anything....So what do you build?
Lego's are like people everybody starts out with starter pack with the beginning of life.
And most people add on to their collection of bricks.
As they go through their own lives.
But everyone creates something different.
Some make houses
others make dragons, shoes, people, trees, portraits, animals, art.
But no one's creations are the same
they are all different
and that's what makes them so concrete.
-Alec Hardison
Thursday, February 27, 2014
I'm so freaking screwed...
I've been trying to study for this huge test
I have tomorrow
I've been studying for 6 hours
....and it's not working
I can't remember any of this stuff
I
am
going
to
F
A
I
L
SCREW THIS FREAKING TEST!!
when am I ever going to use this in the real world?
Well, uhm...hm..I have found a natural object that rotates around the axis point of that object.
now...what is the volume of that rotating object..?
the good thing is
I HAVE A FORMULA FOR THAT!!!
BRILLIANT!!
Nobody does ridiculous things like that EVER...
FREAKING SCREW THIS TEST!!!
I hate tests.
Sorry about the random rant.
-Alec Hardison
I have tomorrow
I've been studying for 6 hours
....and it's not working
I can't remember any of this stuff
I
am
going
to
F
A
I
L
SCREW THIS FREAKING TEST!!
when am I ever going to use this in the real world?
Well, uhm...hm..I have found a natural object that rotates around the axis point of that object.
now...what is the volume of that rotating object..?
the good thing is
I HAVE A FORMULA FOR THAT!!!
BRILLIANT!!
Nobody does ridiculous things like that EVER...
FREAKING SCREW THIS TEST!!!
I hate tests.
Sorry about the random rant.
-Alec Hardison
Monday, February 24, 2014
I'm Sorry
im sorry that I never talk to anyone
im sorry that I wear the wrong clothes
im sorry im depressed and depressing all the time
im sorry to have to beg for your attention
im sorry for being mean to you when all you wanted to do was give me a hug
im sorry i continued to push you away
im sorry i couldn't be there when you needed help
im sorry i ate the last piece of cake
im sorry you expected more out of me
im sorry i stopped being athletic
im sorry i let you down
im sorry i didn't live up to your standards
im sorry i don't know what to do with my life
im sorry im pessimistic all the time
im sorry i stopped doing the things that made you happy
im sorry that I don't have any music
im sorry that im not a very good writer
im sorry that im the rebellious one of the family
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry im not good enough for you.
-Alec Hardison
im sorry that I wear the wrong clothes
im sorry im depressed and depressing all the time
im sorry to have to beg for your attention
im sorry for being mean to you when all you wanted to do was give me a hug
im sorry i continued to push you away
im sorry i couldn't be there when you needed help
im sorry i ate the last piece of cake
im sorry you expected more out of me
im sorry i stopped being athletic
im sorry i let you down
im sorry i didn't live up to your standards
im sorry i don't know what to do with my life
im sorry im pessimistic all the time
im sorry i stopped doing the things that made you happy
im sorry that I don't have any music
im sorry that im not a very good writer
im sorry that im the rebellious one of the family
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry
im sorry im not good enough for you.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, February 23, 2014
my life right now in random pictures
everybody: "so Alec what do you want to do with your life?"
me:
"you are crazy!"
me:
"where are you going to go to college?"
me: "I'm in shock! Look I've got a blanket!"
"don't you care what people think?"
me:
"what about friends?"
me:
me:
me:
"I don't think you are funny"
me:
"you should really start doing something with your life"
me:
.jpg)
I don't know what I'm doing with my life, so just stop asking about it.
-Alec Hardison
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Elementary
Best friends in elementary school were always strange. I mean you pretty much declared them your friend.
But then you only hung out at school.
But since you were friends you did everything together at school, like eating lunch and sitting together and playing during recess.
But sometimes even if you were dubbed as a friend of theirs you didn't want to be there friend. and then they would get all offended just because of stupid stuff like that.
So then, you would be their friend even if you didn't want to be.
You always wanted to be the person who knew everybody in your class.
My best friend that i have now is awesome and our story was unique too.
In elementary school we were friends but not really friends and then we hated each other and then eventually we because best friends in middle school because we finally realized that we liked the same things. And we have been best friends ever since.
Life seemed so complicated at that time, but it really wasn't.
-Alec Hardison
But then you only hung out at school.
But since you were friends you did everything together at school, like eating lunch and sitting together and playing during recess.
But sometimes even if you were dubbed as a friend of theirs you didn't want to be there friend. and then they would get all offended just because of stupid stuff like that.
So then, you would be their friend even if you didn't want to be.
You always wanted to be the person who knew everybody in your class.
My best friend that i have now is awesome and our story was unique too.
In elementary school we were friends but not really friends and then we hated each other and then eventually we because best friends in middle school because we finally realized that we liked the same things. And we have been best friends ever since.
Life seemed so complicated at that time, but it really wasn't.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, February 16, 2014
Ownership
when will we own ourselves completely? The only thing i own are my problems and and problems of others. people come to me and explain how I need to help them, and I do, I take their problems just to try and help the people that I love. And I'm not sure those are very valuable, because to me they just feel like a huge burden.
They are a heavy blue and green neon backpack filled with problems, that feel like bricks. I know that later in the semester we are supposed to come up with 1000 uses for a brick but this isn't one of them. Because these bricks are not useful nor are they creative, they are just heavy.
I don't own my car. I don't own my life. I don't own my food. I don't own my body. I don't own my room. I don't on my music. I don't own my shirt. I don't own my friends. I don't own anything. Actually I lied. I do own a few things but not everything in my life. I own my regrets, my art, and my problems.
GREAT.
-Alec Hardison
They are a heavy blue and green neon backpack filled with problems, that feel like bricks. I know that later in the semester we are supposed to come up with 1000 uses for a brick but this isn't one of them. Because these bricks are not useful nor are they creative, they are just heavy.
I don't own my car. I don't own my life. I don't own my food. I don't own my body. I don't own my room. I don't on my music. I don't own my shirt. I don't own my friends. I don't own anything. Actually I lied. I do own a few things but not everything in my life. I own my regrets, my art, and my problems.
GREAT.
-Alec Hardison
Falling
love is like skydiving, you are completely and udderly freaked out that you are going to fail and that it will never work out and you will die I guess that's why it's called falling in love.
until
it all works out
love is sharing your chocolate
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love.
once you say it a bunch of times, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore..its a meaningless phrase
its just a word but it seems to be one of the things that makes the world go round.
everybody has heard it before. Almost every song has the word in it at least once. People try to express it but never seem to get it right. Because for everyone love is different.
but not me. My love life is like a Mexican Soap Opera, not because of the drama or the plot twists but because I have absolutely no idea whats going on.
because to tell you the truth, I've never been loved.
I've tried, but it has never really turned out right.
I loved someone but they never noticed me.
I think love is Bull crap.
probably because I've never truly experienced it.
-Alec Hardison
until
it all works out
love is sharing your chocolate
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love.
once you say it a bunch of times, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore..its a meaningless phrase
its just a word but it seems to be one of the things that makes the world go round.
everybody has heard it before. Almost every song has the word in it at least once. People try to express it but never seem to get it right. Because for everyone love is different.
but not me. My love life is like a Mexican Soap Opera, not because of the drama or the plot twists but because I have absolutely no idea whats going on.
because to tell you the truth, I've never been loved.
I've tried, but it has never really turned out right.
I loved someone but they never noticed me.
I think love is Bull crap.
probably because I've never truly experienced it.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, February 9, 2014
I'd like my crayons back please
I miss being a kid
I miss the joy of playing sports
I miss the time when dressing up for Halloween wasn't considered lame
I miss dressing however you wanted because nobody cared
I miss sliding down the stairs
I miss not having to make my own food
I miss wearing a superhero costume whenever you wanted
I miss RUNNING everywhere
I miss playing with stuffed animals
I miss messing around with my brother
I miss getting away with practically everything
I miss running around barefoot
I miss being energetic
I miss being creative
I miss being able to eat brownies for breakfast
I miss being able to switch from reality to imagination immediately
I miss floor hockey
I miss the power I had of pouting
I miss running through the sprinklers in summer
I miss being a flexible pretzel that could fit anywhere and still be comfortable
I miss smiling so freely
I miss laughing at stupid things with my friends
I miss not having any responsibility
I miss thinking that anything is possible
I miss when hallucinations were considered normal because we were at that age
I miss lincoln logs
I miss getting a coloring page and crayons at restaurants
I miss playing king of the slide during recess
I miss being amazed everyday
I miss playing with legos
I miss being able to color outside of the lines
I miss when school was still fun
Growing up and life decided to gang up on me and steal my childhood from me. I want it back!
Give me my FREAKING crayons back!!
-Alec Hardison
I miss the joy of playing sports
I miss the time when dressing up for Halloween wasn't considered lame
I miss dressing however you wanted because nobody cared
I miss sliding down the stairs
I miss not having to make my own food
I miss wearing a superhero costume whenever you wanted
I miss RUNNING everywhere
I miss playing with stuffed animals
I miss messing around with my brother
I miss getting away with practically everything
I miss running around barefoot
I miss being energetic
I miss being creative
I miss being able to eat brownies for breakfast
I miss being able to switch from reality to imagination immediately
I miss floor hockey
I miss the power I had of pouting
I miss running through the sprinklers in summer
I miss being a flexible pretzel that could fit anywhere and still be comfortable
I miss smiling so freely
I miss laughing at stupid things with my friends
I miss not having any responsibility
I miss thinking that anything is possible
I miss when hallucinations were considered normal because we were at that age
I miss lincoln logs
I miss getting a coloring page and crayons at restaurants
I miss playing king of the slide during recess
I miss being amazed everyday
I miss playing with legos
I miss being able to color outside of the lines
I miss when school was still fun
Growing up and life decided to gang up on me and steal my childhood from me. I want it back!
Give me my FREAKING crayons back!!
-Alec Hardison
That's messed up
So, yesterday before I had to go to work and I wanted some Doritos so I got out ones that we had in the pantry.
And this is what I found inside.
What the freak!!!
That's messed up!
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, February 2, 2014
The Difference
You are at a crowded subway station, about to get on the subway car that just barely pulled up. As in most stations there are signs posted above the terminals saying 'watch out for pickpockets'. You check for your wallet and phone just to make sure they are still there. They are. Good. You get on the car and the subway starts to move. There is a person standing right next to you, with their back towards you. You try to see their face but a hat is all that you can see. The person presses against you as the car moves along, you don't think anything of it since you've been on a subway before and this happens all the time. You pull up to the next station ready at the door to get off and be on your way. Someone shoves you from behind and you yell out a mean "Hey!!", only to hear a mumbled "Sorry" as the person with the hat slides out of the car. You go on with your day, going to work, running errands, and socializing. You decide to stop at a pizza place for lunch. You order a large cheese pizza with bacon and sausage on it. Your total comes to $6.70. You reach to grab your wallet and feel........nothing. The people behind you in line groan as you scramble to find something to pay for the pizza. again you find NOTHING. You don't know what has happened. You are not sure whether it was a pickpocket, or plain carelessness, that cost you your money.
I'm sorry to tell you, it was a pickpocket. That lucky sap with talent just got away with $12.68, your driver's license, your school ID, and your random assortment of receipts.
that guy is just like me.
I am a Thief.
I don't deny it because it is just a natural part of me.
I am the pick pocket and all of you are my marks. Most thieves travel in groups and work together, i work alone. I see you around and on your blogs and through sleight of hand I rifle through your wallet and personal belongings.
Except there is one difference between me and him.
I only take words.
-Alec Hardison
I'm sorry to tell you, it was a pickpocket. That lucky sap with talent just got away with $12.68, your driver's license, your school ID, and your random assortment of receipts.
that guy is just like me.
I am a Thief.
I don't deny it because it is just a natural part of me.
I am the pick pocket and all of you are my marks. Most thieves travel in groups and work together, i work alone. I see you around and on your blogs and through sleight of hand I rifle through your wallet and personal belongings.
Except there is one difference between me and him.
I only take words.
You, like everyone else I have stolen from doesn't realize it, until later. I have learned how important they are and since I have none of my own I steal yours. I am a Kleptomaniac when it comes to words and phrases. I know it's a problem...I just haven't come to find my own words yet. I never know what to say. If you met me in the real world and tried to have a conversation with me, it would fail. Because I have no words of my own. That's why I steal yours.
-Alec Hardison
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