untitled/this doesn't make any sense

This is the piece that I wrote and performed for the open mic final...I'm pretty sure if you didn't hear it this won't make any sense...and it's slightly different than what I actually said because I get really excited and say random stuff when I am up in front of people...yep...

Okay let's start this with a joke because everybody likes jokes... at least I do...
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A nervous wreck.
That would be me....
Here's another one.
If everything is coming your way fast.
You're in the wrong lane.
This doesn't make any sense at all.
Rambling is my favorite language.
I hate public speaking.
I bite and pick at my lips and nails when I'm nervous.
And I'm not going to lie. You guys make me nervous. So freaking nervous.
I know this doesn't matter at all, but to me, it does.
I'm naturally an awkward person. ..
.... so. ..I hope this isn't really bad...
Randomness:
I've only seen frozen once and I knew that may may surprise a lot of you, but according to me, it wasn't all the rage that everybody has been freaking out about, it was okay.
Did you know that my hair takes 6 minutes to blow dry.
Probably because there it's nothing there...
My mom thinks I'm anemic.
No mom, I'm just white and pale!
You just don't understand.
I'm sick of saying fine when people ask me how I am.
I stayed up way too late writing this and it doesn't make any sense so just ignore my ramblings, because that's all this is. It's not poetry and it's definitely not poetic.
Chocolate is the answer who cares what the question is.
I'm terrified. I don't want to move on.
You know that saying "take life with a grain of salt" no!! I do what the freak I want I'd prefer to take life with a bowl of ice cream. Fact: you see better when you are scared. By the end of this rambling I'm probably going to be able to start seeing through things.
I'm not good at advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
They took my coloring book away and replaced it with a scantron.
What I really want to know is what I would say or spill my secrets when getting my wisdom teeth out.
Too bad I don't have any.
Curses.
AHHHHH (loud scream)
I like screaming.
My sneeze is too loud for normal human interactions.
Here let me demonstrate. ..... wait. ... nope.... not going to happen.
I hate it when people stop talking in the middle of their........
...

thank you.



-Alec Hardison (ME)