I've been thinking....

i remember spilling root-beer all over the carpet in 5th grade.
i remember my best friend telling the teacher on me.
I remember trying to be the fastest runner in elementary school. I remember how I was the second fastest runner after another guy in my class.

i remember when homework was at least slightly enjoyable.
i remember when I thought I had superpowers.
I remember in junior high getting bullied.
I remember I just let it happen because I didn't have any friends.
i remember never getting to eat my lunch.
I remember sneaking into the pantry to eat more food whenever I was hungry.
I remember skipping lunch to just sit in the library and read.

I remember thinking in 6th grade that we would all still be great friends when high school rolled around, not ignore each other.
i remember when school seemed like an eternity and homework a lifetime to do, while the sun was setting.
i remember thinking how working at IKEA and sorting everything would be the greatest job ever.
I remember when my friend group completely changed.
I remember sticking a cricket on my parents and waiting for them to notice.

I remember feeling completely alone.
i remember in 10th grade thinking how suicide was just a stupid and cowardly way to go.
I remember caring about my grades.
i remember laughing with my friend about collecting tears, I would have plenty now, if we actually wanted to try it. I don't know what the experiment would even be about but it would be unusual.
I remember thinking that I would be social in high school and everything would be different.
i remember in 10th grade when I expected the lunches to be at least better. They weren't.
I remember when I actually ate lunch. everyday.

I remember having 6 birds, not 4.
I remember playing sports.
I remember the first time I ever tried a pb&j sandwich.
I remember being violent. And ruining people's lives.
i remember cutting open my finger with a rotary cutter and screaming for my mom.
I remember when I was the shortest of my friends.
i remember thinking how I was going to be a millionaire when I grew up.
I remember life being easier than it is now.

i remember my first job.
i remember hitting the umpire with the bat and getting yelled at by my coach.
I remember my first day of work. I remember the manager and how scary she was. And how right then and there, I wanted to get a new job.

i remember you and the way that we became friends.
I remember too much....but never enough...

i remember. but i don't think that you do...