These are just some of the questions that I thought of today:
Who came up with Escalators?
Can your brain actually ever be full?
What would I do in the 8 minutes after the sun exploded?
Why do most idiots think they are cool?
Why are people so mean?
What if poisonous berries aren't really poisonous, it's just that the first guy to try them was allergic to them?
If swimming is such a good exercise then why are whales still fat?
Why are people so afraid of death, when it is always inevitably going to happen, you can't stop it?
Why do when get older we turn back into babies?
Why do we like sweet things?
What is the use of the appendix?
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Are you a fan of delicious flavor?
Why does the sun drain all your energy?
Why do you remember things better with songs or music?
Why do people who are the most comfortable with each other feel the need to make fun of them the most?
Why is people watching so fun?
I wonder how my friends and I look to other people not in our group?
How long would I actually survive in a zombie apocalypse?
Why do cars always break down at the wrong time?
Why does the library not ever have what you want?
What happened to Blockbuster, wait, I know the answer to that: Netflix!
Why are people so self-conscious?
I saw a mockingbird in the park, what color was the mockingbird?
Have you ever fainted from talking too fast?
I wonder why are people so curious?
Why is school life long periods of boredom punctuated by brief deadlines of panic?
Does everybody make T-rex noises while they are stretching or is that just me?
I don't know what I'm mumbling about.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Becki
I didn't get the job I have now because I wanted friends. Honestly I got it because I needed the money. You are so strange. We both got the job around the same time. And through all the changes of managers and employees you are still here. And I want to know why. When I got the job all I did was work the front counter just like you. And like everybody else I asked my routine questions to try and get to know people in my own strange and quirky way. But you didn't seem to be like everybody else. You had something that nobody else had shown me, I guess you could call it caring, or kindness. I don't know. You started out by everybody else answering the questions normally until you really noticed that I wasn't answering the questions just deflecting them or shoving them aside and asking another. But you didn't become stubborn like everybody else and refuse to answer. I mean you did, but not for very long. I'm sorry if I beat the will out of you. I seem to do that to everybody. You started to get curious. You got closer than anyone I've ever known. I still don't know why I've let you that close, probably because I'm weak. You were so alluring and sweet you just made me want to give up the mask and the facade and just tell you, but then again, not really. You have a secret way of breaking down my barriers that I put up in the first place. You were so skillful at what you were doing I even relied on you, when I needed someone the most. That was never supposed to happen. And I guess it all did happen because of my weird curiosity of asking personal, deep questions. And really, I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry that I had to just fly off the handle and freak out and i feel like I am just constantly pouring out my soul to you. When I never even realized I was pouring from the pitcher at all. I hate and love working with you and your buddy all at the same time. I hate it because sometimes I feel left out, but then i love it when you include me in your conversation. I hate it when I say something stupid but then I love it when you laugh at my sarcasm or pessimistic-ness.
Bailey was talking about his life and how he is a magnet of bad things happening to him. "Bing, Bing, Bing,"..etc.
And of course I said a quick witty sarcastic remark to that "Does it actually make that sound?" or something relatively to that.
And you just started laughing and you said "I love your comments Alec!" or something like that.
That just made me feel so good. I don't know why, probably because you actually appreciated my sarcasm as being funny or at least amusing rather than straight up rude which is what it normally is.
I don't know, you just have a type of radiating happiness that makes you want to stay around you. Every time I look at the schedule I look to see if I work any shifts with you, even just like a couple hours with you. Because you are my beacon. You seem to have a way with people. You make me curious. You have always said that you just don't have any deepest regrets and I can never wrap my head around that idea. Because I've always had regrets. I carry them around constantly. My deepest regret is in a shoe box in my closet.
You amaze me. You make me want to try and be a better person even though I never will be. You just are awesome. I'm not trying to be poetic or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell the truth. Because everybody should be able to hear the truth. Even if they don't want to. I'm sorry I apologize all the time, for things that don't really matter. I'm sorry I'm really obnoxious and nosy, I'm sorry.
You make me feel so happy, and overjoyed.
You influence my life for the better.
...and I just want to say..
Thank you...
Thank you for being my friend, when I really needed one.
Thank you, I feel like I can never truly re-pay you.
Thanks for everything.
-Alec Hardison
Bailey was talking about his life and how he is a magnet of bad things happening to him. "Bing, Bing, Bing,"..etc.
And of course I said a quick witty sarcastic remark to that "Does it actually make that sound?" or something relatively to that.
And you just started laughing and you said "I love your comments Alec!" or something like that.
That just made me feel so good. I don't know why, probably because you actually appreciated my sarcasm as being funny or at least amusing rather than straight up rude which is what it normally is.
I don't know, you just have a type of radiating happiness that makes you want to stay around you. Every time I look at the schedule I look to see if I work any shifts with you, even just like a couple hours with you. Because you are my beacon. You seem to have a way with people. You make me curious. You have always said that you just don't have any deepest regrets and I can never wrap my head around that idea. Because I've always had regrets. I carry them around constantly. My deepest regret is in a shoe box in my closet.
You amaze me. You make me want to try and be a better person even though I never will be. You just are awesome. I'm not trying to be poetic or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell the truth. Because everybody should be able to hear the truth. Even if they don't want to. I'm sorry I apologize all the time, for things that don't really matter. I'm sorry I'm really obnoxious and nosy, I'm sorry.
You make me feel so happy, and overjoyed.
You influence my life for the better.
...and I just want to say..
Thank you...
Thank you for being my friend, when I really needed one.
Thank you, I feel like I can never truly re-pay you.
Thanks for everything.
-Alec Hardison
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
I feel like this needed a title to fit in with all the rest
You asked me how I knew.
I said that's a complicated answer.
but the short answer is:
I can just read people well.
Here's the long version:
I could tell in the way your smile faltered when no one was looking
I saw it in the way you walked down the hallway trying to face the troubles of the day.
I saw it in effort it took to talk to me.
I saw it your eyes, and the sadness there.
I knew it in the way that you ached, but pretended not to.
I knew it in how you carried yourself around
I knew it in how you tried to hide it
I saw it in your hands with your handwriting
I saw it in the way you gave someone a compliment
I don't know how to describe it
I just knew.
I knew, because I can read people.
I know you were trying to hide it from the world but that just made it more obvious to me.
-Alec Hardison
I said that's a complicated answer.
but the short answer is:
I can just read people well.
Here's the long version:
I could tell in the way your smile faltered when no one was looking
I saw it in the way you walked down the hallway trying to face the troubles of the day.
I saw it in effort it took to talk to me.
I saw it your eyes, and the sadness there.
I knew it in the way that you ached, but pretended not to.
I knew it in how you carried yourself around
I knew it in how you tried to hide it
I saw it in your hands with your handwriting
I saw it in the way you gave someone a compliment
I don't know how to describe it
I just knew.
I knew, because I can read people.
I know you were trying to hide it from the world but that just made it more obvious to me.
-Alec Hardison
Monday, March 24, 2014
Stranded (the story of the day)
My truck broke down today while I was trying to drive home with my sister. It was having troubles but I just assumed that it would be fine because it's a little gut-less wonder. We are on the overpass of the freeway in the left lane. And it just dies. I try to start it again, and again, and again. And nothing happens, which is never a good sign.
I started to panic.
It's not starting at all and I'm stranded in the middle of the road.
I started to bawl.
I probably sat there in the truck for about 5 minutes just bawling while people are driving around me and honking. I would've moved out of your way if I could've.
Then this lady came up to my passenger side and helped to push our little truck to the right side of the road. I was still crying. I could tell that my crying was making my sister uncomfortable.
I called my both my parents and they couldn't understand me through my sobbing. I had to pull to together to get it out that I was stranded with my sister on the side of the road.
Another man pulled over to the side and comforted me by waiting for my parents to show up before he left. I thanked him graciously because I wasn't sure if I could stand being stranded there all by myself.
After about an hour my parents shows up and we towed my little truck back home.
I've been home for a while I can't stop crying. I know it's just a truck and we could always get a new one....but I don't know...this is mine.
Going to the pond today was great and I thought that today was going to be a good day.
my life was going pretty good, and then this
I guess it's my time bomb again
-Alec Hardison
I started to panic.
It's not starting at all and I'm stranded in the middle of the road.
I started to bawl.
I probably sat there in the truck for about 5 minutes just bawling while people are driving around me and honking. I would've moved out of your way if I could've.
Then this lady came up to my passenger side and helped to push our little truck to the right side of the road. I was still crying. I could tell that my crying was making my sister uncomfortable.
I called my both my parents and they couldn't understand me through my sobbing. I had to pull to together to get it out that I was stranded with my sister on the side of the road.
Another man pulled over to the side and comforted me by waiting for my parents to show up before he left. I thanked him graciously because I wasn't sure if I could stand being stranded there all by myself.
After about an hour my parents shows up and we towed my little truck back home.
I've been home for a while I can't stop crying. I know it's just a truck and we could always get a new one....but I don't know...this is mine.
Going to the pond today was great and I thought that today was going to be a good day.
my life was going pretty good, and then this
I guess it's my time bomb again
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 23, 2014
my space camp
The first thing I thought of when Nelson said 'space camp' was the first time that I went to space camp in elementary school. When I was 9. (coincidentally)
Except this space camp wasn't about learning to be an astronaut or dreams. It was about the future. The future of space technology and fighting aliens. We all got assigned positions and stations and jobs.
I remember my first mission in 5th grade.
I was the captain, which was really strange because I wasn't the person that was ever known. I was the outcast. 'Outcasts aren't supposed to be the captain.' I didn't think that until many years later, because for me, anything could happen.
They led us into the training area where we got our little blue vests and instructions on the mission we were going to do that day. I was so excited. Our mission was something along the lines of 'try to convince these people to do something and protect these people and free the slaves' (I can't exactly remember how it went.)
We were originally supposed to be on the Odyssey but our crew didn't have enough people. So we were assigned the Phoenix. Which was a smaller ship with only 5 crew members.
they sent us through the 'portal' and then we were trained for our positions.
Since I was the captain and this mission was designed to test us I had this little device where somebody could tell me what to do if I needed help or advice. It was my conscience. And this person through the headphones had an Irish accent and would help me and my crew constantly get out of trouble. We did die a few times from spaceship malfunction and engineer malfunctions (like not being able to back out of the space port and blowing up, or not stopping in time and running into an oncoming friendly spaceship. yep as you can see we were experts at this sort of thing.)
I wish I still had a conscience helping me along every step of the way. (one of the rules of having a conscience be your guide was that you could never refer to it as being there. You couldn't say 'my conscience says that we should probably head north and maybe talk to the pirates.' even if you had a conscience telling you what to do you had to refer to those ideas that were popping into your head as your own.)
I guess that that rule still applies today, probably so people don't assume that you are crazy, but perhaps you are. (have I gone mad? I'm afraid so, but let me tell you a secret: all the best people are.-Alice in Wonderland.)
I remember being so frustrated, I wanted to just complete the mission because it really shouldn't have been that hard.
I remember after we ran out of time going back to school and the disappointment in everybody's eyes.
What would I do if I only had a few months to live, that's easy.
I would go back to space camp.
(I'm not sure I understood the prompt. But then again, I do what I want.)
I wasn't really sure where I was going with this at all. Apparently I wanted to jump around a lot.
-Alec Hardison
Except this space camp wasn't about learning to be an astronaut or dreams. It was about the future. The future of space technology and fighting aliens. We all got assigned positions and stations and jobs.
I remember my first mission in 5th grade.
I was the captain, which was really strange because I wasn't the person that was ever known. I was the outcast. 'Outcasts aren't supposed to be the captain.' I didn't think that until many years later, because for me, anything could happen.
They led us into the training area where we got our little blue vests and instructions on the mission we were going to do that day. I was so excited. Our mission was something along the lines of 'try to convince these people to do something and protect these people and free the slaves' (I can't exactly remember how it went.)
We were originally supposed to be on the Odyssey but our crew didn't have enough people. So we were assigned the Phoenix. Which was a smaller ship with only 5 crew members.
they sent us through the 'portal' and then we were trained for our positions.
Since I was the captain and this mission was designed to test us I had this little device where somebody could tell me what to do if I needed help or advice. It was my conscience. And this person through the headphones had an Irish accent and would help me and my crew constantly get out of trouble. We did die a few times from spaceship malfunction and engineer malfunctions (like not being able to back out of the space port and blowing up, or not stopping in time and running into an oncoming friendly spaceship. yep as you can see we were experts at this sort of thing.)
I wish I still had a conscience helping me along every step of the way. (one of the rules of having a conscience be your guide was that you could never refer to it as being there. You couldn't say 'my conscience says that we should probably head north and maybe talk to the pirates.' even if you had a conscience telling you what to do you had to refer to those ideas that were popping into your head as your own.)
I guess that that rule still applies today, probably so people don't assume that you are crazy, but perhaps you are. (have I gone mad? I'm afraid so, but let me tell you a secret: all the best people are.-Alice in Wonderland.)
I remember being so frustrated, I wanted to just complete the mission because it really shouldn't have been that hard.
I remember after we ran out of time going back to school and the disappointment in everybody's eyes.
What would I do if I only had a few months to live, that's easy.
I would go back to space camp.
(I'm not sure I understood the prompt. But then again, I do what I want.)
I wasn't really sure where I was going with this at all. Apparently I wanted to jump around a lot.
-Alec Hardison
Monday, March 17, 2014
[title goes here]
Dear you,
I don't know what it is exactly about you and your family, they are just comforting.
You guys are enchanting. Your whole house is quiet and peaceful. No yelling or screaming. You asked me if I liked to play Settlers of Catan. I have to say that is one of the most random questions I have ever been asked before. I only stopped by to lend you a book and in turn you gave me someone to talk to, cookies, you listened and you actually looked like you were interested. Your house seems like a safe haven from my chaotic life, you just make me smile. Your eyes just make me want to stay all night and listen to your stories and talk about life with you. I want to know more about you and your struggles but I'm too much of a coward to ask. You make me want to stay and just talk, and talk, and talk until my throat feels raw and parched. But all good things come to an end. I had to leave, because like always, I have stuff to get done. I should have left earlier but the sensation from standing there made me feel alive. You make me feel nervous, and jumpy, and scared, and feel like I'm going to cry all at the same time. I just don't know how to use these wonderful 26 letters to explain what you make me feel like.
Thanks,
(but I don't deserve it).
-Alec Hardison
I don't know what it is exactly about you and your family, they are just comforting.
You guys are enchanting. Your whole house is quiet and peaceful. No yelling or screaming. You asked me if I liked to play Settlers of Catan. I have to say that is one of the most random questions I have ever been asked before. I only stopped by to lend you a book and in turn you gave me someone to talk to, cookies, you listened and you actually looked like you were interested. Your house seems like a safe haven from my chaotic life, you just make me smile. Your eyes just make me want to stay all night and listen to your stories and talk about life with you. I want to know more about you and your struggles but I'm too much of a coward to ask. You make me want to stay and just talk, and talk, and talk until my throat feels raw and parched. But all good things come to an end. I had to leave, because like always, I have stuff to get done. I should have left earlier but the sensation from standing there made me feel alive. You make me feel nervous, and jumpy, and scared, and feel like I'm going to cry all at the same time. I just don't know how to use these wonderful 26 letters to explain what you make me feel like.
Thanks,
(but I don't deserve it).
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 16, 2014
Welcome to the Club
Death seems to be at every corner tempting me.
Death tempts me
at the knife block in the kitchen while I'm making a sandwich.
Death tempts me while I'm at the pool or the ocean
at the grocery store.
at the trampoline
in the pantry
on the playground
at the doctor's
in the bathroom
in my room
in my car
next to the treadmill
on the bridge
in the fridge
in my bed.
Death seems to have nothing to do
Death sees how weak I am and knows that I can be tempted.
So he tempts me.
(and I don't know how to get rid of him)
Death tempts me
at the knife block in the kitchen while I'm making a sandwich.
Death tempts me while I'm at the pool or the ocean
at the grocery store.
at the trampoline
in the pantry
on the playground
at the doctor's
in the bathroom
in my room
in my car
next to the treadmill
on the bridge
in the fridge
in my bed.
Death seems to have nothing to do
Death sees how weak I am and knows that I can be tempted.
So he tempts me.
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
You, yes you! I'm talking to you!
Dear you,
You make me so angry you say that it is all my fault when really I have done nothing wrong in the eyes of others...you make me so mad I want to just drive over to your house just so I can scream and yell and cry all around you. I'm crying right now, but do you see that NO you don't because you don't even care enough to come over and see. Instead you hide behind the new phone you got for Christmas not even caring about your friend. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you telling me how to act and what to do and where we should go out to lunch and where we should sit and what we should watch. You make me so mad and angry i just want to throw this laptop across the room and just yell and scream until my throat and lungs are raw and bleeding. I feel like you just voted me off the freaking island and then you blame everything that is happening on me. You make me so angry, you act like everything is fine even when you want something different. You say that you want us to stay friends and then you act like it's just my fault makes us secluded and separated from the other friend group. don't you forget that you helped with that too. I hate that you automatically assume that I'm the wishy-washy one when you can't even decide which place you want to go eat at until you start driving, same with movies. I"m sick of you always getting to drive. I'm sick of all your excuses like 'I get sick when other people drive'. I hate that you assume that I'll be working and I'm indecisive and you think that I can't be on my own and then you tell me different perspectives of everything. I don't think I can trust you anymore. Because you are two-faced. You just make me so mad. I'm sick of being stabbed in the back with talking and then actions. I'm just sick of everything. You make me so angry.
I'm just so sick of you.
I don't know if I can still stand to be around you
you make me sick.
-Alec Hardison
You make me so angry you say that it is all my fault when really I have done nothing wrong in the eyes of others...you make me so mad I want to just drive over to your house just so I can scream and yell and cry all around you. I'm crying right now, but do you see that NO you don't because you don't even care enough to come over and see. Instead you hide behind the new phone you got for Christmas not even caring about your friend. Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of you telling me how to act and what to do and where we should go out to lunch and where we should sit and what we should watch. You make me so mad and angry i just want to throw this laptop across the room and just yell and scream until my throat and lungs are raw and bleeding. I feel like you just voted me off the freaking island and then you blame everything that is happening on me. You make me so angry, you act like everything is fine even when you want something different. You say that you want us to stay friends and then you act like it's just my fault makes us secluded and separated from the other friend group. don't you forget that you helped with that too. I hate that you automatically assume that I'm the wishy-washy one when you can't even decide which place you want to go eat at until you start driving, same with movies. I"m sick of you always getting to drive. I'm sick of all your excuses like 'I get sick when other people drive'. I hate that you assume that I'll be working and I'm indecisive and you think that I can't be on my own and then you tell me different perspectives of everything. I don't think I can trust you anymore. Because you are two-faced. You just make me so mad. I'm sick of being stabbed in the back with talking and then actions. I'm just sick of everything. You make me so angry.
I'm just so sick of you.
I don't know if I can still stand to be around you
you make me sick.
-Alec Hardison
Sunday, March 9, 2014
Confessions
Truths are always harder to tell than lies. But lies are easier to say.
I have depression (severe)
I have always secretly wanted to go to be the change (but I guess it's too late now)
My right leg shakes when I'm really nervous or scared
I can't scream (I've tried, nothing works, roller coasters, being scared, scary movies..etc. nothing works)
I see the world differently than everybody else.
I hate my name (Alec!!! Get down here!! You have stuff that needs to be done!)
My real name is _____. (Sometimes I wish I would actually tell the world who i am, the other half of me is wondering why I would ever want to do that)
I have always wished that someone would give me a nickname. (I was once on this soccer team and everybody had a nickname...except for me. I was always just me.)
I hate the sound of my voice (when I listen to my voice i wonder how i still have friends)
My parents think I'm suicidal.
I'm too good at keeping secrets (and i feel like it's slowly crushing me like a huge weight i'm holding above my head)
I have problems letting people into my life
My friend has saved me with her caring (she will never know how much she has partially saved me from the darkness)
I have been drowning in darkness
I hate expectations
I hate being wrong
I wish I knew how to pick locks, be a forger, and be a pickpocket or magician
I am afraid of guillotines (as stated before, it's still true, and irrational)
The idea of drowning freaks me out
when I am at school I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.
stupid people in large groups can do amazing things
I'm terrified that I'm going to have to reveal who I really am at the end of this class.
AP Calculus is so freaking hard
I wish I was one of those amazing blogs that everyone always talks about and gets lots of comments (because I don't know why, I need the comments, I need the validation that i'm writing something at least partially good)
I'm very needy (it's almost pathetic)
College stress just makes me want to curl up into a very small ball in the corner and cry myself to sleep
I wish I was different, but different people never fit in.
I'm kind of sick of signing my name at the end of each blog post.
I wish I could just be myself
I'm sorry for this crappy blog post.
I have depression (severe)
I have always secretly wanted to go to be the change (but I guess it's too late now)
My right leg shakes when I'm really nervous or scared
I can't scream (I've tried, nothing works, roller coasters, being scared, scary movies..etc. nothing works)
I see the world differently than everybody else.
I hate my name (Alec!!! Get down here!! You have stuff that needs to be done!)
My real name is _____. (Sometimes I wish I would actually tell the world who i am, the other half of me is wondering why I would ever want to do that)
I have always wished that someone would give me a nickname. (I was once on this soccer team and everybody had a nickname...except for me. I was always just me.)
I hate the sound of my voice (when I listen to my voice i wonder how i still have friends)
My parents think I'm suicidal.
I'm too good at keeping secrets (and i feel like it's slowly crushing me like a huge weight i'm holding above my head)
I have problems letting people into my life
My friend has saved me with her caring (she will never know how much she has partially saved me from the darkness)
I have been drowning in darkness
I hate expectations
I hate being wrong
I wish I knew how to pick locks, be a forger, and be a pickpocket or magician
I am afraid of guillotines (as stated before, it's still true, and irrational)
The idea of drowning freaks me out
when I am at school I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.
stupid people in large groups can do amazing things
I'm terrified that I'm going to have to reveal who I really am at the end of this class.
AP Calculus is so freaking hard
I wish I was one of those amazing blogs that everyone always talks about and gets lots of comments (because I don't know why, I need the comments, I need the validation that i'm writing something at least partially good)
I'm very needy (it's almost pathetic)
College stress just makes me want to curl up into a very small ball in the corner and cry myself to sleep
I wish I was different, but different people never fit in.
I'm kind of sick of signing my name at the end of each blog post.
I wish I could just be myself
I'm sorry for this crappy blog post.
AFRAID
I'm afraid
I'm afraid that people are reading this. That they're not.
I'm afraid that people are reading this, but not leaving a comment.
I want to know what you think, tell me straight up. please.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
I'm afraid of guillotines,
yes I do admit that one is stupid and irrational.
I'm afraid of having my life go right again.
Because every time my life seems to be better or normal like it used to IT happens.
I don't think I am able to just let my life be good. Because for me, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve having awesome parents
I don't deserve friends who laugh at my stupid jokes
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve it
I'm like a time-ticking clock bomb
Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
I never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong.
I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of becoming a suicide case.
I'm afraid speaking in front of people.
I'm afraid of being alone
I'm afraid of the people that say they are there for me aren't.
I'm afraid of what I would find if I could read people's thoughts.
I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I'm afraid of the future.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
I'm afraid.
and I don't know what to do about it.
I'm afraid that people are reading this. That they're not.
I'm afraid that people are reading this, but not leaving a comment.
I want to know what you think, tell me straight up. please.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
I'm afraid of guillotines,
yes I do admit that one is stupid and irrational.
I'm afraid of having my life go right again.
Because every time my life seems to be better or normal like it used to IT happens.
I don't think I am able to just let my life be good. Because for me, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve having awesome parents
I don't deserve friends who laugh at my stupid jokes
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve it
I'm like a time-ticking clock bomb
Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
I never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong.
I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of becoming a suicide case.
I'm afraid speaking in front of people.
I'm afraid of being alone
I'm afraid of the people that say they are there for me aren't.
I'm afraid of what I would find if I could read people's thoughts.
I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I'm afraid of the future.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
I'm afraid.
and I don't know what to do about it.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Bricks thrown with Anger
When I was 6 I threw those bricks at my brother.
Don't be worried, I just think he started crying, but they couldn't have hurt that much?
(Besides when we left them out and would accidentally step on them, that actually freaking hurt like no other)
I mean....they are just plastic, not concrete. But I remember that day. My parents got so angry at me. And I didn't see the problem.
"what? it's not my fault I threw those Lego bricks at him!"
"He was making me mad!!"
"He took all the cool Lego things and people!!"
"He took Pantsey!" (pantsey was this Lego character that m brother and I had created together that had really short legs and an extremely long neck. That we always fought over, don't ask me why.)
But Lego's (bricks) have so much potential. You can build practically ANYTHING out of them.
and that's sometimes the worst problem.
You can build anything....So what do you build?
Lego's are like people everybody starts out with starter pack with the beginning of life.
And most people add on to their collection of bricks.
As they go through their own lives.
But everyone creates something different.
Some make houses
others make dragons, shoes, people, trees, portraits, animals, art.
But no one's creations are the same
they are all different
and that's what makes them so concrete.
-Alec Hardison
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