I'm afraid
I'm afraid that people are reading this. That they're not.
I'm afraid that people are reading this, but not leaving a comment.
I want to know what you think, tell me straight up. please.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
I'm afraid of guillotines,
yes I do admit that one is stupid and irrational.
I'm afraid of having my life go right again.
Because every time my life seems to be better or normal like it used to IT happens.
I don't think I am able to just let my life be good. Because for me, I don't deserve it.
I don't deserve having awesome parents
I don't deserve friends who laugh at my stupid jokes
I don't deserve anything
I don't deserve it
I'm like a time-ticking clock bomb
Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
I never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong.
I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of becoming a suicide case.
I'm afraid speaking in front of people.
I'm afraid of being alone
I'm afraid of the people that say they are there for me aren't.
I'm afraid of what I would find if I could read people's thoughts.
I'm afraid of what people think of me.
I'm afraid of the future.
I'm afraid of the unknown.
I'm afraid.
and I don't know what to do about it.
Thanks for sharing. This was really honest.
ReplyDelete://nelson-in-montauk.blogspot.com/2012/07/tiny-beautiful-things.html
You do deserve good things.
I'm afraid of how this whole blog is supposed to represent our soul, and mine is empty.
ReplyDeleteYES LIKE HOW IS ANYONE SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO SHOW THEIR SOUL ON A BLOG
I'm afraid of guillotines, - so specific and like I don't know why but I love it
"Because once it gets too close to perfection it explodes because
ReplyDeleteI never deserved those things in the first place
So I guess my bomb just puts me back in the place
where
I
belong."
This is so real to me. I share your fear. The way you said "where I belong" man that was good. This is so good! And you deserve good things.
Deserve.......know that you deserve great and amazing things. Working though the fear and finding the truth is hard. Sometimes believing it is even harder. You will conquer that challenge again and again in life. It's gets a little easier every time. It helps when you have the knowledge of your past successes to help propel you forward. Your at the beginning of your long journey, take heart!
ReplyDelete