stress levels and thoughts

I wanna talk about how you can never find the soul mate to your socks And how you are able to be a 20 on a scale of 1-10. and how right about now I'm at least a 28.6 How I'm going to have to live with someone I don't even know for at least 3 months. I wanna talk about the playlist I made but it's only mine and how I labeled it that. I wanna write about how I'm secretly relieved about not having to talk to one of my friends ever again. How I have almost as strong connections with people I formerly used to work with them l than my best friends. How you can hate a job but love working with some of the people
How you can be so stressed about not packing yet and still lounge around the house procrastinating. How I have 30 shirts that I haven't ever worn and don't fit me anymore. I'm sick of crying, crying gives me a headache and heartache too. About how my room looks like a bomb just exploded And my head looks about the same I want to talk about the way my pinkies look and how the 7th step on the way up the stairs squeaks but not on the way down I want to talk about how friends are the best things in the world, and about how silence is slowly killing us all. I want to talk about how I really haven't said goodbye to really anybody and how I leave in less than a day. And how I'm stressed a lot about that. The difference between then and than. Ponder upon the reason that printer ink is the most expensive liquid on earth based on price per ounce. Why suicide bombers should be getting life insurance and discuss the emotional attachments we all have to certain toys or stuffed animals from our childhoods and how sometimes spelling is the hardest thing in writing. How because of spelling words we would rather reconfigure the whole sentence that it used to be in. How drug dealers still live in their mother's basement. Why girls have it harder and the expectations that people attach for no reason at all. How I'm just sitting here writing instead of finishing packing I don't know. I just want to write and talk.
I'm not really sure where I was going with this....


-Alec Hardison

A: you know who you are.

Dear A,
Thank you so much for tonight/today I'm glad that you realized and acknowledged the cues and signals I was giving off. Thank you for staying and waiting for me to get off before leaving. I'm pretty sure that carmel shake thing you made me stopped my heart at least once, but that's okay. Thank you for walking with me and just talking with me.  Thanks for being honest with me. Try not to get Jason fired.  I can't wait for you to tell me about the looks on everybody's faces when they read the letters. It's going to be awesome. Thank you for caring enough about me to stay and just talk with me. Thank you.  I'm sorry i started crying. Thank you for the hug when I started crying, and for all the rest. I really needed those. Thank you for saying 'we really should be getting home' three times but not leaving until the last possible moment. Thank you for just letting me talk. I'm really going to miss you. And I hope that you actually do make that list, then I will have exactly one thing hanging up in my dorm room.
Thanks for tonight/this morning.
Pretty much,
Thank you.
It meant a lot to me.

-Alec Hardison

stop! (hammertime)

It is easier not to say anything. Shut your trap, button your lip, can it. All that crap you hear on tv about communication and expressing your feelings is a lie. Nobody really wants to hear what you have to say.

I don't want to talk about it.
It doesn't matter. Stop asking about it.
You are standing too close.
I'm naturally uncomfortable.
Stop. It doesn't matter.
Leave me alone.
Ask somebody else for an opinion.
Go away.
Why are you following me?
Aren't you supposed to be going home now?
Just leave me alone.
Stop asking about it.

Legitimate (truths)

Just a few truths

-I get really annoying with idiots who misuse the word 'literally'
-I dare you to try and string together a sentence without the word 'like' in it Charlie
-I only have 3 colors during the summer: lobster red, pink eye, and the sun on bright angel snow white.
-I stay up too late all the time because my mind likes to wander and worry and stress
-I'd rather stay at home than be social anyday
-No matter how hot it is, I always sleep with at least one blanket
-I drink Sprite when I'm stressed
-dino-nuggets taste better than regular nuggets
-I get sunburnt WAY too easily
-I can't have one conversation with anyone without asking questions or adding sarcastic remarks
-I'm way more annoying and loud at home than anywhere else
-I think I look cool when I wear sunglasses, but I probably look really stupid
-I'm trying to eat healthy but I'm a sucker for snow cones, so that's not exactly working out....


.. ... . .. ..... ..

...


-Alec Hardison (ME)

these are not the droids you are looking for....

Dear you,






I hate you.









That is all.







Move along.

Nothing to see here.




-Alec Hardison (ME)

A recipe for disaster

A simple yet complex recipe to make a disaster that has been voted best dilemma for 4 years in a row!


Ingredients:
-Adults (that were teenagers just a few months ago)
-School for 12 years straight
-A handful of peer pressure
-rules and regulations (enforced)
-tests (ap tests)
-Expectations
-Stress
-18 year old angst
-Parents
-Wifi
-Friends
-Work
-Lack of sleep
-Paranoia
-Uncertainty
-Stressful situations
-Sprinkle the word "COLLEGE" here and there
-Childhoods that have been murdered
-Graduate
-Make them choose what they want to do with their lives (extremely soon)
-Extreme freedom that they have never had before
-nervous breakdowns/anxiety attacks
-Unstable friend situations
-Enemies (rivals)


Instructions:
Preheat conventional oven to 350° F.
Mix all ingredients together in a big wooden bowl (spactula is recommended for better mixing).
Pour mixture from bowl into a glass 9x13 inch glass pan.
Cover with tin foil.
Bake in oven for 45-65 minutes.
Remove tin foil from top of pan.
Then bake for another 10 minutes to melt the top of disaster to perfection.
Add sprinkles (multi-colored is preferred).
Congratulations you have now made a huge un-desirable disaster.

Good job.

A penny for your thoughts. I'm sorry but mine are worth $1.50.

Why so much for your thoughts you ask?
Because of these reasons:

• I'm broke
• I need money
• My thoughts are original
• I'm sick of giving my advice or sarcastic comments away for free
• I'm sick of talking

I'm sick of talking. 

I'm sick of people always asking me how I am. 

I've learned from experience it's better to just shut up and listen then to talk.

I seem to get into way more trouble and problems than I ever would've been in if I just shut up and stopped talking.

I love how I've just started to continually get quieter and people automatically assume that I'm just mute.

Which is fine with me. 

I'm sick of asking questions because all it ever gets me is problems.

I'm sick of answering questions because nobody cares and nobody needs to know.

You know all those get to know you questions like: would you rather this out that? 

I've decided I'd rather be mute than deaf.

All I ever do at work is talk and talk and talk and my throat is raw. It seems like lately everybody just seems to ignore that I exist. Which is fine by me. Because it's really easy to forget that there is an elephant in the room if it stops making noises.

I'm done with talking. All it ever does is give me more problems than I need.

-Alec Hardison (ME)